On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hey, y'all.
Well, I've been mentioning it for awhile and it's finally here. The View from Behind Home Plate has a new home. I've got a brand new website where I'll continue to post Friday Favorites each week. When you click the link to the website, www.jenniferpskinner.com you'll be able to scroll down on the home page to find the most recent Favorites post or click "Keep Reading" to see all of my posts. At the site, you'll also find a catalog of videos of my past speaking events, you'll be able contact me with comments or to inquire about booking me to speak at your church or organization's event and eventually be able to get updates on the book I'm working on.
Now here's my big ask, friends:
Would you please click the link to this new site below and before you check out today's Favorites, could you click the "Let's be Friends. Join my Email List" near the top of the page? I promise I won't be spamming you with emails constantly. When you sign up you'll get a Welcome Email from me and in the coming weeks 5 Friday Favorites will come straight to your inbox. Your signing up will be immensely helpful to me as I jump into an effort to expand the reach of my writing and speaking. The bottom line is that publishers want to see that there are people out in the world who will support my work and the way I prove that is through a significant email list. So weird, because when I wrote to Judy Blume in the 3rd grade and told her I wanted to be a writer, she never mentioned the importance of an email list. ;-)
I'm so grateful to all of you who have stopped by over the years and I hope you'll stick with me in this new space as I try to follow God's lead into some new adventures.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hey! Happy Friday! I know I've been yapping about my new website and it's soooooo close to being ready. I can't wait to share it, but we still need to tweak some things and next week it'll be ready. At that time I'll be doing some super awkward self-promotion to get some email subscribers. That will most certainly give me an eye-twitch and make me feel nauseous so stay tuned. It might be fairly entertaining to witness. Here are some favorite things from this week.
1. Nonnas
I watched this movie this week on Netflix. It's a little corny at times, but it was sweet. I love Vince Vaughn and this might be the most G-rated thing he has done. Worth a watch if you need something comforting and easy in the midst of the world news that is exactly the opposite.
2. Trader Joe's Hand Cream
I love this stuff. It has a clean, fresh smell that isn't overwhelming and is really thick and moisturizing. You can find it here on Amazon if you don't have a Trader Joe's near you, but it's twice as much.
3. Striped Mini Dress
Due to my new "No Buttons Unless Absolutely Necessary" policy, I'm all about dresses for the summer. This striped mini dress is adorable. I love the banded bottom hem and the zippered collar. It comes in several color options and is 28% off today.
4. The National Champion University of Texas Longhorns Softball Team
We were completely locked in to the Women's College World Series last weekend when my Texas Longhorns played a three game series against the Texas Tech Red Raiders for the championship. Had I watched softball at all this season? Shamefully and stupidly, I had not. But when I tell you that I was all about Mia and Teagan and Reese and Joley and Kayden, et al, I'm telling you the whole truth. Jumping, screaming, clapping, panicking . . . it all went down in my family room. And there was much celebration along with a bunch of boasting when the ladies picked up the first National Championship for a Texas Softball team ever.
The day after the championship, I wore my Texas tshirt when Steve and I went to work out and as we were going in I said, "Gosh, it feels so good to be walking around today as a National Champion." My husband is a smart man, so he didn't say anything, but I believe the following is an accurate description of the look he gave me:
Which was an expression that clearly said, "Ma'am. You started watching softball exactly three days ago. Get all the way outta here."
And to that I would reply: "INCONSEQUENTIAL DETAIL, SIR."
I would also like to point out that if anyone of those girls would like to put out a make-up tutorial online, I will sign up immediately. The highlighter/contour/eyelash game was almost as good as the ridiculous athleticism. Nicely done, ladies. So proud.
5. Some Words on the Humanity of Jesus
Image: The Chosen
We've been studying the Gospel of Matthew in our Wednesday Bible study this year and what has struck me the most during the last few months is how often I recognize the humanity of Jesus in Matthew's words. I've studied Matthew numerous times. This week I was wondering why these qualities of Him are standing out so often to me this time around. I suppose it's because I've been feeling exceptionally "human" in the past six months. And, well, Duh. This God of mine. He always is able to meet me where I am - whether in my fear or pain or frustration or loneliness. In other words: He knows what's up.
It is always comforting to me to remember how Jesus exhibited human emotions, but didn't stop to wallow in them as we often do. Instead, He shows us a way through: to recognize our weakness and still trust the unending goodness, love and compassion of the Father. I was digging more into that this week and found a devotional I wrote on this exact subject a few years ago:
Often,
in discussions regarding the humanity and divinity of Jesus, I find that
Christians can become a little anxious. I've noticed an almost apologetic tone
that comes in conversations about the human emotions we see in Jesus. I suppose
we have some fear that in recognizing these qualities we might appear to lack
the appropriate reverence for His holiness. We are quick to follow any
acknowledgement of Jesus as a man with the declarative reminders that He was
also sinless, powerful, righteous, and perfect.
Absolutely
appropriate to remember, of course, because all of those things are true. However, I think if we neglect to dig into the human qualities that our
Lord displays, we will miss out on the fullest joy and hope that a relationship
with Christ can provide.
Some of
the most meaningful lessons and most comforting aspects of any relationship
come from sharing vulnerabilities. Aren't our most warm and trusting
relationships with those friends who are able to meet us where we are? We have
the closet connections with those who can share their own stories of struggle,
of pain, of fear, and of temptation. We aren't drawn to those who meet us in
our weakness with moral superiority and judgment. Friendships thrive when one
can say to another, "Me, too, sister." and then help point us
to the hope of Christ.
This is
why I find it so comforting to seeJesus's humanity play out in the Scriptures. I see Him weep when he hears that Lazarus has died.
(John 11:35) I see Him show anger at the temple - even flipping the tables of
the money changers. (Matthew 21:12-13) I see Him frustrated with the disciples
when they fall asleep when He needs them to keep watch and pray. (Mark
14:37-38) I see him so anguished and distraught at the prospect of going to the
cross that his tears become blood as he begs the Father to take the burden from
Him. And then I see His humble surrender to the ultimate will of God. And I
pray that I might have the courage and faith to follow God's will in my own
life as well.
These
examples do not dismiss the perfect holiness of Jesus. They, in fact, show us
that even in His perfection He humbled Himself to love us and serve us more
than we could ever have deserved. He showed us that no matter how difficult the
struggle we face, no matter how ugly the sin we've committed, no matter how
hopeless the situation appears to us, we can come to Him with no shame and no
regret and trust that He can make us well.
Hebrews
4:15 tells us that "we do not have a high priest who is unable to
empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who was tempted in every way and
did not sin."
Our
Jesus was "despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, acquainted with
grief." (Isaiah 53:3) There is nothing we could face that He would not
understand. He is most divine authority and the very best companion a guy or
girl could ever have. What a friend we have in Jesus. Indeed.
Have a great weekend, Friends.
Disclosure: The View From Behind Home Plate is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn small fees by linking to amazon.com. Post might contain other affiliate links as well.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hi, Friends. I'm back! We had a great time in the Outer Banks sharing the week with our people and celebrating my sweet in-laws' anniversary. We missed our Kyle and some other nieces and nephews who are all out there adulting in the real world, but were happy for those who could make it to the beach. The weather wasn't great, but we got a few days of sunshine and it was so much fun to have all of the generations together.
Hot Tip: One way to infuse some light and joy into an otherwise gloomy morning was to wake up to the pitter-patter of the little feet of my great-nieces, Kaylin and Ellie and great-nephew, Beckham above our room everyday. If we're honest, Beckham prefers stomping to pitter-pattering and it made me laugh every single morning. It was a bit of deja-vu for me and I loved it.
Since I got back I've been working with an amazingly brilliant (and very patient) website designer to get a brand new website set up. I thought I'd have it ready today, but I think it will be next week. There you'll be able to sign up for Friday Favorites to be sent to your inbox each week. You'll be able to get updates on the book I've been working on (for what seems like 134 years). I'll also have videos of many of my past speaking events available in one spot and a contact page if you are interested in having me speak at your church, mom's group or women's retreat. I'm really excited to share with y'all and hope you'll share with your friends as well. Also, rest assured, your girl is doing the superfreak about these new adventures which require stepping out of her comfort zone. This is a surprise to exactly zero people.
Alrightly, here are some favorites from the last (couple of) weeks.
1. Aetrex Vania Arch Support Platform Sandal
The crappy weather lent itself to some shopping trips. My niece was a superhero because she found an A+ shoe store just down the street from our beach house. I had never heard of Aetrex shoes, but these sandals are ridiculously comfortable and I've worn them just about everyday. There were so many cute styles to choose from and all were equally comfortable. I found some other great options available on Amazon here.
2. The Housemaid is Watching
I read The Housemaid earlier this year and when I first started this one, I was thinking that I knew exactly where it was going and was ready to chuck it because I thought it was just going to repeat the same story. However, it took some crazy turns that I absolutely did not see coming. Listen, this is not high brow literature, but I was all the way in.
3. AE Empire Waist Embroidered Midi Dress
Another find from the OBX outlets. This embroidered dress comes in two different colors and it is so pretty. The skirt is lined and it's super comfortable. It's less than $40.
4. Donna Karan Cashmere Mist Deodorant
I've mentioned this deodorant before and it is stupid-expensive, but it is definitely what heaven's anti-perspirant must smell like.
(If in fact, one needs such a thing in the sweet by and by which I think is unlikely even though I have no theology to back that up. Revelations mentions no more death, mourning, crying or pain, but strangely leaves out any reference to BO. This seems to be a glaring omission by John the Apostle, but it is what it is.)
A little warning if you want to give it a try. Mine lasted a really long time, but it finally ran out, so I went back to Ulta to get another one and accidentally purchased the "aluminum-free" version. ALERT: I do not mean to disparage a product that is well meaning in its intention to keep us safe, but when I tell you it smelled like a cat's litter box, I am not exaggerating in the least. Shoutout to the fine folks at Ulta who gave me a full refund since they didn't have an "aluminum-full" one in the store. I found it for 15% off here.
5. OBX Fun
I was terrible about taking pictures at the beach. Also, sadly for you, dear reader, it is not my place to post the littlest members of our brood here on the world wide web and since I failed to ask permission, I apologize because those little munchkins are extraordinarily gorgeous, so you're missing out. Although we missed Kyle, Drew got a chance to spend some time with him in Nashville last weekend. Joe and Drew left the beach early on Thursday since Joe was broadcasting the USC Upstate College baseball game at the Clemson Regional tournament on Friday. They checked out a Minor League game in Spartanburg, South Carolina Thursday night and then Joe dropped Drew at the airport on his way to Clemson so he could fly to Nashville to meet up with Kyle and his buddy and teammate, Maddox. Two of our friends play ball for ETSU and Vanderbilt and they were playing in the Nashville regional. So Maddox and Drew stayed with Kyle in Nashville and saw some great baseball. This is a long, wordy way of saying that this family's schedule continues to be utterly and completely controlled by the baseball. I was so happy the boys got to spend some time together that I didn't mind them leaving early. I demanded proof-of-life photos each day so I've got some of those mixed in with some of our favorite times from the week away.
PS It's Steve's birthday and he has endured a lot with me in the year of our Lord 2025 - our 31st year of marriage. He's legitimately the kindest, steadiest, most humble man I know. I don't write much about him because he is super private. He doesn't do social media. In fact, earlier this year he finally had me set up a Facebook account because he felt like he might be missing out on updates from his extended family. That account lasted for about 3.5 hours. He asked me to shut it down before the day was up because too many people noticed his account and were trying to friend him. ;-) I wrote about him here years ago. It's all still true. I love him a whole lot and I'm so lucky he sticks with me. It isn't an easy gig.
Have a great weekend, everyone!
Disclosure: The View From Behind Home Plate is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn small fees by linking to amazon.com. Post might contain other affiliate links as well.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hello. It's vacay time for the Skinner fam and I gotta pack all the things. I hope you all enjoy your Memorial Day weekend and take time to honor and remember those who died for our freedom. I'm so grateful.
Here are some my favorite things from the week.
1. Running Point
I've only watched two episodes of this new series on Netflix, but it is very promising. It stars Kate Hudson as the only daughter in a family of boys who takes over as the president of a professional basketball team called the Los Angeles Waves. I love basketball and I laughed out loud multiple times, so I think I'm sticking with this one.
2. Aerie Crochet the Day Maxi Skirt
This maxi skirt seems like it has the beachy vibe I'm going for next week while still offering some coverage since I don't think it's going to be very warm. It comes in a few colors.
3. Heated Eye Mask
This rec comes from my friend, Mrs. C. who highly recommends it for dry eyes and relaxation. Dry eyes are yet another joy of menopause. So much fun! I also can't live without these eye drops.
4. Large Tote Bag
This tote bag has shown up on my Instagram feed about eleventy billion times. It's so cute and comes in black, blue or pink.
5. The Very Best Words I Read This Week
One of my besties sent this post to me this week from an Instagram account called Moms of Bigs written by Esther Joy Goetz. These are some of the most relatable words I've read in a long time. I want to point out in ALL CAPS: THESE ARE NOT MY WORDS and honestly, I'm not sure there isn't some law against transcribing them in this dinky little blog and posting them here. But I felt them so deeply..
I think when I was in the midst of the chaos of parenting the boys when they were little, I was so busy that although I definitely went to bed every night with regrets, I didn't have as much time to ponder all the mistakes I was making. Now? There is so much time to reflect on all the ways I screwed up. And I spend a lot of time praying that somehow they missed that time I lost my cool (those times) or pushed too hard or not hard enough or wasn't present or was too present or blah, blah, blah. Anyway, this post meant so much to me that I just sat here like a court reporter and typed in every last word, so that I wouldn't lose them. I will need to read them again and again. The words of Esther Joy Goetz - my very favorite thing from this week:
"I was driving up the hill that leads to our home the other day, thinking about my four kids and I just started to cry. Because you know. . . Each one of them is struggling with something. Something that I can probably blame on myself.
My lack of whatever. My too much of whatever. What I modeled. What they absorbed from said modeling.
Too much helping. Not enough just "being". People pleasing, Savior complexes. Workaholism.
The "apple-doesn't-fall-far-from-the-tree" somethings.
As I dug a little deeper, it struck me that some of what they are struggling with has NOTHING to do with me. NOT A DARN THING.
It comes from the fact that they are humans in a human world filled with all the human things.
No one is not struggling. No one's life is up and to the right. No one doesn't feel the weight of the hard and the heavy.
And my precious kids are part of that fragile humanity, one that is scary and gorgeous and awful and holy and everything in between.
I thought when I had clarity in that moment that it wasn't ALL MY FAULT, the tears would dry up and I would pull into my driveway a little lighter. Instead they flowed more freely and I had to stop and pull over.
Because this whole bringing into and trying to raise and watching our kids navigate this beautiful mess of the world that we ALL live in isn't for the faint of heart. It's such a huge risk. It needs so much bravery. It requires being able to sit in the struggle and cry tears on the way up your hill in the car.
As I sat to the side of the curb in stunned silence, the salty drops navigating their way down to my chin before I wiped them away, I couldn't help but think how so much of motherhood is done in the spaces where no one else is.
Where it's just us. All by ourselves. Sometimes crying. Sometimes praying. All the time loving. Not in the way we imagined it at the start of it all. But in ALL THE WAYS, that matter in the end."
Goodness gracious, right? Thank you, Esther Joy Goetz.
Have a great weekend, friends.
Disclosure: The View From Behind Home Plate is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn small fees by linking to amazon.com. Post might contain other affiliate links as well.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Happy Friday! I gotta hustle this morning, so let's get to it. Here are some favorite things from the week.
1. Tom Lake by Anne Patchett
I liked this novel a lot, but I LOVED listening to Meryl Streep read the audio. She's brilliant . . .duh, I know. Her voice is so calm and soothing. It's like your mom reading you a bedtime story.
2. Peepers Readers
The eyesight situation is well, a situation. I wear progressive contacts and I still need readers. Turns out it's helpful to have multiple pairs in different places, so I'm embracing it by finding cute ones. I mean, I think they're cute. Remember, that I can barely see, so . . . Last year I ordered these and I still haven't lost them yet. (Please hold your applause.) I ordered this pair yesterday because it seems like I need an upstairs pair and a downstairs pair and a purse pair and a car pair. Why didn't anyone tell us we needed separate savings accounts for college, retirement and for reading glasses?
3. Running Back to You
Joe sent this song to me a few weeks ago after he heard it at church. Beautiful.
4. Y'all. We need to stage an intervention re. my viewing habits
Hard left turn from the Jesus song. Do not watch this. It's on Netflix, but don't. It's so sad and so disturbing and the most frustrating part was that at the end you don't know what to believe. I gotta get back to The Chosen.
5. The World Needs More Tom Morrisons . . .still and more than ever.
Nine years ago this week our community lost Tom Morrison. Tom was one of the good ones. In the shock and sadness, I took to this space as I always do when I need to work out things that I can't make sense of and then a few days later, I spoke at his memorial service. It was the first time I had ever spoken words I had written in front of a church full of people-or anywhere else for that matter. I was humbled to have been asked and also scared out of my mind. I'll never forget that day and I'll never forget Tom and his easy, warm smile. I only knew him for a short five years, but I can still feel the shock of his loss. And yet, I know that it is nothing compared to the grief that still lingers for his wife, kids and family. If you want to read about our friend, you can do so here. Then do two things. Offer up a prayer for his people today. Then go out and be like Tom because.the world desperately needs more of what it lost when he left.
Gotta go get some running shoes today. If you know, you know.
Have a blessed weekend, friends.
Disclosure: The View From Behind Home Plate is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn small fees by linking to amazon.com. Post might contain other affiliate links as well.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hello. Hope all of you had a great week. Drew came home from college this week which was both happy and sad because it means the baseball season is over. His team fought really hard in the first round of the playoffs - playing all three games of a three-game series but unfortunately lost two out of three. It was a fun season and we had a blast traveling around Virginia to cheer on such a great group of boys. Here are some favorites from the week.
1. Harrisonburg, Virginia
Drew's team played against Bridgewater College which is right outside Harrisonburg, Virginia. Steve and I had the best time in this little town. We had been there to visit James Madison University with Joe when he was looking at schools and once or twice for baseball tournaments, but this was the first time we spent some time really exploring the town. We ate breakfast tacos and had the BEST Blood Orange Margaritas on the rooftop at Magnolia"s Taco and Tequila Bar. We had some good BBQ Saturday night at Jimmy Madison's. I also had time to shop at some adorable boutiques before the game including The Yellow Button and The Lady Jane Shop. 5 Stars for Harrisonburg.
2. Drinks On Me Coasters
I found these coasters at The Lady Jane Shop. I searched for them on Amazon as well and found various sets available here.
3. Design Works Inc Journal
I found this journal at The Yellow Button and thought it was so pretty. but it was the snark that got me to purchase it.
4. The Four Seasons
I really liked this show. Truth be told, I'll watch anything with Tina Fey. I thought it was a funny and compelling look at long-term relationships - both friendships and marriages. Not sure it would be a favorite among younger generations, plus you DO NOT want to watch it (at least one of the episodes) with your kids, no matter if they're old enough or not. Unless you don't get easily embarrassed, I suppose. If you don't then, congrats, but you've been warned.
5. Welp. Shocker. It's the Baseball Players, again.
The baseball bros will always be my favorite. This group of boys brought us so much joy this year. I have always hated the end of any sports season, but Drew was really close to a lot of the seniors which made it even harder to stomach this time. Watching big, strong athletes hug each other with tears in their eyes turns me into a pile of mush. Once again, as I have found so many times, there is crying in baseball.
If I added up all the innings I've watched in the past 20 years it would be in the thousands upon thousands. We've got some more to come, and I won't miss a minute.
Y'all, have a great weekend.
Disclosure: The View From Behind Home Plate is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means to earn small fees by linking to amazon.com. Post might contain other affiliate links as well.
On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.
Hello and Happy Friday. The baseball has been delivering lots of fun this week. The Texas Longhorns swept the Aggies last weekend which was particularly delightful. Today we're off to the first game of the Old Dominion Athletic Conference playoffs to watch Drew and his team, so I gotta hustle. Here are my favorites from the week.
1. Johnny Swim When the War is Over
My goodness, this song. Melodically it's kind of a downer, but I find it pretty hopeful, too. Also, you are allowed to roll your eyes at the fact that I just used the term "melodically" as if I know squat about musical composition. In any event, this song put me way deep into my feelings and my thoughts and my prayers. It seems like there is something very important in this song that goes along with some of the things that God has been trying to teach me in the last several months. Things I definitely don't have a good grasp on yet. See number 5 for the processing and the lack of fully grasping.
I don't know if overalls are a clothing style that I have aged out of, but you're going to need to pry my overalls out of my cold dead hands. I ordered these last week. They come in a bazillion colors and are on sale for 23% off.
4. Scamanda
Why am I into yet another weird-woman documentary? I don't know, but this one is WHACK. It's on Hulu and is the story of a woman who faked cancer to get sympathy, money and internet fame. The lengths to which she goes to sustain her lies are insane.
5. On Becoming Like a Child
Alert: SO MUCH rambling and likely too much vulnerability for the internet. On a Friday, no less. You've been warned:
I've been thinking a lot this week about the verses where Jesus implores us to be like a child. This scene shows up in the gospels of Matthew, Mark and Luke..
"I assure you that if you don't turn your lives around and become like this little child, you will definitely not enter the kingdom of heaven." Matthew 18:3.
I have delivered not one, but two sermons on these verses. So let's just say that I have spent some significant time trying to grasp the concept.
Guess who still doesn't fully get it?
I've been struggling with neck and shoulder pain for over four months now which has led to an inability to exercise which has led to some depressing days with a side of good ol' rage. I've mentioned it before, blah, blah, blah. I'm so over it. Lots of physical therapy, doctors, injections, etc. When this passage came up again this week, I was thinking about the "kingdom of heaven" not as the eternal life beyond Earth that He promises, but more as a sense of peace and of healing that He makes available to us in the here and now. Take that as you will. I'm not a Bible scholar by any stretch.
As I was walking my dog yesterday, I contemplated this verse again and asked (God, not the dog), "Why are you sending me this verse again? We've covered this one. And if I'm not doing it right, then, ok, so like, how? How are you asking me to change to be like a child? What is it I'm supposed to do? Just tell me what to do and I'll do it."
And there was the problem.
This is what I heard (again from God, not the dog), "I'm not asking you to do anything. Stop trying so hard to do what is not yours to do. Stop striving, stop laboring, stop overthinking, stop managing and stop beating yourself up when all of your efforts fall short. I'm not asking you to do, I'm simply asking you to be."
I'm not saying that all was right in the world when that came to me. I'm still trying to figure out what it means to just "be". I am objectively terrible at just "being". I understand the concept logically, I think. Of being still, quiet, surrendered, mindful. Of trying to sort out what is mine to do and what is His. But this "being" without "doing" is so far out of my reach lately.
As much as I have studied about grace and mercy, I still cannot get a handle on it. I honestly don't know what it is to not strive. To not try. And no matter how much I can write and preach about the fact that we don't need to earn God's love, there must still be something in me that seems to think that all my efforts will bring me His favor. That some way, some how I should be able to fix my problems. This is false. I know it is, but I'm finding it so hard to shake.
In the song I mentioned above there are some lines that keep rolling around in my head:
I've been waiting for so long, I've been holding out hope.
I've been ready to fight. I've been ready to flee.
Only wish I could remember how to live in peace.
When the war is over, maybe I can try
To be less of a soldier and a bit more like a child.
Very little children have it figured out. They simply are. They aren't, at least at a very early age, trying to soldier through life or to prove their strength. They understand their helplessness. I remember my little boys looking up at their daddy and saying, "Daddy, up! Daddy, up!" with their chubby hands reaching toward him when they were tired or scared or hurt. They stood there, simply being in need, with arms outstretched. They weren't trying to figure out how to make whatever they were feeling go away on their own. They knew where their safety and security could be found. Not in themselves, but in the arms of their father.
No matter how wise or strong or disciplined I have imagined I have been in this life? No matter how much I've imagined that the "good girl" routine has paid off? It was never me that brought any blessing, comfort, peace or healing I've experienced. It was always Him. I am to become like a child. One who doesn't have to do anything, but only has to be. Which is to say a child in need of a Father. Of a Savior. Of the One who carries me. The One who always has. Let us trust that He won't stop now.
Bonus Favorite: Play Off Baseball
Go Cougars.
Have a great weekend.
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