Monday Musings

Well, our weekend started off with the most beautiful Friday and Saturday that anyone had seen in a long while. I promise you it was as if everyone in my area was walking around on clouds, so happy were we that spring had sprung. It was pretty much like this everywhere you went.

Then Sunday came and when we walked outside we were all collectively like this.

Same thing for Monday, so let's just go back to Saturday. It was just Kyle and me at home for the weekend as Steve and Drew were away at a New Jersey baseball tournament.

We started Saturday morning greeting veterans arriving on an Honor Flight at Dulles Airport. We have participated in these amazing events where vets come to DC to tour the monuments a number of times over the years.

Every time we go Kyle always has the same instructions for me. He tells me to try not to cry my eyes out this time. And then reprimands me when I make comments like, "Oh my goodness, that man is the most adorable, cutest thing I've ever seen." He tells me to knock it off and will remind me before we go in, "Mom, these men are soldiers. They're warriors. You aren't allowed to call them adorable."

Good point, Son. Still, though. Adorable, right?

It really is a moving experience for everyone and it is very easy to attend. If you are in the DC area you can find the schedules for Honor Flights at both Dulles and Reagan Airports and simply show up twenty minutes before arrival to greet the vets. You even get your parking ticket validated. If you are in other areas, I believe you can welcome them home from their trips as well.

Later we went to get Kyle fitted for a tux because Prom is coming up. I snapped this picture as quickly as I could because 17 year old boys aren't big fans of their moms taking photos.

Then we went through McDonald's for lunch because hanging out with teenagers is equal parts disgusting and thrilling.

Saturday afternoon I spent a glorious few hours sitting on the deck in the sunshine reading this book while Kyle mowed the lawn for the first time this year. Later I had a very exciting evening which included a bubble bath, Grey's Anatomy on my ipad and the application of somewhere between five and eighty-four different facial masks, creams, serums, and magic potions promising to change the landscape of my entire face.

Dear Beauty Product Marketers: I do not know what hyaluronic acid is, but apparently I will buy it from you without question. Well done, Wizards.

Later that night, Mack and I watched The Greatest Showman. We loved it.

Sunday when I got home from church Kyle asked me if I wanted to watch the Celtics with him. Y'all I don't care about the Celtics or any professional basketball team. AT ALL. Not one bit. I didn't even know it was the playoffs. I was thinking that what I really wanted to do was to continue that really great novel I was reading, so you would think I would have said,

But then I realized MY TEENAGER ASKED ME TO HANG OUT WITH HIM - SORT OF, KIND OF, MAYBE NOT REALLY, BUT I THINK HE DID. So I was all,

So we watched the Celtics and the game went into overtime because basketball hates me.

So there it is. It was a weekend of hanging out on and off with my teenager when he wasn't with his buddies or playing basketball or Fort Nite and all I can tell you are just the facts, ma'am.

Which brings me to something I've been thinking about lately in regard to how my writing here has changed and how it will continue to change. I've been writing about my life for six years here at this blog. My writing, for the most part, has been about parenting. (Well, that and my never ending quest for the best lipstick and most stylish, yet comfortable boots.)

It was easier to post my thoughts about parenting young children - the trials, the frustrations, the everyday extraordinary ordinary moments. I wanted to share my faith and how it helped me navigate the confusion and the feeling that I had no idea what I was doing. I wanted to share to feel less alone and also to help other women feel less alone. To help us all to find ways to marvel in the mess of motherhood. To urge us to look for God's beauty and blessing in the seemingly boring moments of our everyday.

As our children grow, I feel much less ownership of the stories I would normally tell. Their stories are their stories. Even though that quote which says that having children is like having our hearts walking around outside of our bodies feels true, I have to remember feelings are not facts. God made each of my children a unique, whole individual - an actual human being separate from me with his own story to tell or not tell.

That doesn't mean that I don't want to write millions and millions of words about parenting teenagers and it doesn't mean that it isn't a valid and maybe even important thing to do. Because mamas of teenagers do need to feel less alone. They do need to know that they are not the only ones experiencing the fears and worries and struggles and triumphs and joys and pride that they are finding in their teens.

But it does mean that I am hyper-aware about what I share about my teenagers. Even if it is something so mundane and ordinary that I might think it would be no big deal to put it out here. I am aware that one of them might be fine with whatever I share and one might only be okay with a few things and one might just as soon I pretend he didn't exist outside of this house.

I honestly don't actually have any terribly difficult stories or deeply personal adolescent struggles to share here right now. I actually spend more time worrying about future difficulties than dealing with present ones. That tendency I have to "borrow grief" from the future might be the hardest part of this season. But if I was navigating a really hard, really delicate situation right now, I wouldn't tell you about it. Not yet anyway.

I will likely write chapters and chapters about this season and I may or may not publish those words some where when it feels appropriate. It might be that those thoughts would get a lot of views and comments and discussion happening here. And maybe my writing would mean a lot to people and that, frankly, would make me feel great and important and valuable. But what is crucial right now is that my people feel great and important and valuable. More important than the popularity of this space.

I will continue to navigate this season and share when I feel it's appropriate and approved. But for now, I'll remember the most important thing. A quote I heard in The Greatest Showman speaks this truth:

You don't need everyone to love you. Just a few good people.

This space is so meaningful to me. The people who read and comment and send me notes fill up my heart in ways I never could describe. But no matter how much I want to write and share and connect with people through my writing, it is these few good men living out these ordinary extraordinary days with me in my house who I truly need to love me. I am so grateful that they do.

Have a happy Monday, friends.