5 Friday Favorite: July 12, 2024

It's time for my Friday link up with  A Little Bit of Everything and Momfessionals. 

On Fridays I share things that made me happy from the week - a photo, a song, a quote, a beauty product, a recipe, a pair of cute shoes, etc. If it's a product, sometimes it's something I actually own and sometimes something I just saw online that gave me a smile. Sometimes it's serious and sometimes it's silly. I suppose I believe that God is in the simple details of life and yes, I can even find Him in a tube of lipstick.

Hello, from Rockwall, Texas where I'm tired and sweaty. My sister, Jill and I are here doing round 75 of packing up my parents' house. My mom was great at cleaning out her stuff. She was as far from a pack rat or a hoarder as you could get, but when you live somewhere for almost 20 years you accumulate some stuff. Shout out to all of you who have helped clear out your parents' homes and found at least four different china pattens passed down over the years that no consignment store in the whole wide world will take from you. Ditto for crystal and silver serving pieces. Also, please raise your hand if you found this china pattern in the depths of the cabinets. Did everyone's grandmom on the entire planet have the Franciscan Apples?  

I feel like my sister and I need to cook a pot roast and eat dinner on these before we leave. Then maybe we'll play Bridge and smoke a bunch of cigarettes. Here are some of my favorite things from the week that do not include six trips to Wal-Mart for more boxes and packing tape.

1. Aoudery Romper

Because of our packing all week and the fact that Texas is downright hateful in the summer, I need clothes that don't touch my skin. I can't get enough rompers, so I bought this one from Amazon just before I left. It is so comfortable and cute. Also, fun fact: I almost never wear pink, but have found myself drawn to it lately. A friend recently told me that pink is associated with unconditional love, nurturing and emotional healing. All things that remind me of my mom. So I got the pink romper to go with my pink Birkenstocks. If it brings any of "my mom vibes" to me, I'm all the way in.

2. Banana Republic Factory Tote

I came across this Vegan Leather Slouchy Tote from Banana Republic in the bone color and I think it's so pretty. I haven't seen it in real life nor do I need a new tote in real life, but in my fake life, I would buy this in a heartbeat. The bone and the black are 40% off.

3. KMBANGI Graphic Print Dress

It's possible that there is WAAAYYY too much going on here, but I think I might love this fun graphic print dress that I saw on another Park Lane Jewelry stylist on Instagram. It's only $13.98 so not sure the quality is all that great. At that price though, if you wear it once and decide it was a big mistake, it's not as big of a deal. It comes in a lot of other prints, which again might be way too much. The likelihood that I would actually have the confidence to wear this is close to zero, because I can't decide if this is awful or adorable. But I'm leaning adorable, so somebody go snag it.

4. Look up by Joy Oladokun

Jill introduced me to this song this week. She and her husband saw Joy Oladokun open for Jason Isbell at the Ryman in Nashville a couple of years ago. It's beautiful.

5. Thoughts on Grief and Recovery and A Community of Believers who bring  Heaven To Earth

As I mentioned last week, we had a great time with my dad when he visted us in Virginia for the 4th of July. The truth is I was  a little nervous. The past year and a half has been, of course, very, very, very difficult. On top of my grief at the loss of my mom, there has been shouldering the burden of my dad's grief and his advancing age and health. Gratefully, I have not shouldered it alone. My sister and brother and I have equally shared this and I will never be able to thank God enough for the fact that the three of us have consistently been on the same page and walked alongside each other through all of the changes. Our collective worry over my dad has perhaps delayed our comprehension of the full measure of the loss of our mom. Which means I don't look forward to what might be to come if the weight of her absence hits all at once. I suppose what I'm learning is that there is no pattern to grief. It comes and goes, following no rules or logic. 

Besides my sister and brother there are other people who have shouldered that burden of worry for my dad with me. People who have never met him. People from the ages of 35-94 who are members of my church family. Women and men. Grandmothers, mothers and daughters. Grandfathers, fathers and sons. Many who have grieved the loss of parents, children, siblings and friends. Many who have not. These people listened to me cry and struggle and complain over the past 16 months. They have held my hands and patted my back. They have hugged me and given me a reassuring nod from across the table. They have hit their knees and they have folded their hands and they have written my name and my dad's name in their prayer journals. They have petitioned the Lord for me when I could not find the words to say to Him. They have held me in their hearts. And I knew this on some level, but it really wasn't until last Sunday that it really sunk in.

Steve and I took my Dad to church before we left for Lake Anna. Some of my Bible Study friends knew to expect him. As we entered the church doors my friend, Sam, greeted my dad with the biggest smile and a hearty, "Welcome to Virginia!" The greeters, who include my friend, Lori, sit at a table at the entrance of the Narthex and create name tags every single week. As people walk in the door, they ask their names and give them a tag to wear during the service. We didn't even have time to tell them my dad's name. They saw us approaching and when I looked at the table, there was his name tag right next to mine and Steve's; "CHARLIE" written in bold letters, as if to say, "We knew you were coming. We planned for your arrival. We're ready for you."

We got there early. Dad walks slower these days so I wanted there to be plenty of time. The choir of which many of my friends are members were rehearsing. As their practice stopped, they could have remained at the front of the sanctuary in the choir loft and waited for the service to begin. But they didn't. My friends streamed down the aisle to our seats  to meet my dad before the service. One after the other after the other, they hugged him and shook his hands. Tiana and Carole and Bob and Brenda and Katie and Ginger and Jaime and Ann and Tracy. The list goes on and on. Their eyes sparkled with excitement and they welcomed him as if there was a celebrity in their midst. 

My dad has had a miraculous recovery of sorts since the 1st anniversary of my mom's death came and went a few months ago. We are stunned at this turn around. His outlook is brighter. His appetite is back. His humor is restored. His essence is lighter. We cry at times and we struggle. Her absence is immense. But it seems somehow, that there is finally light where it was so painfully, utterly dark for so many months. This change has been remarkably abrupt considering how chaotic and painful this exhausting year of anxiety, and despair has been. It has been so drastic, in fact, that I've mentioned to numerous friends that "it's like magic".

But this is the thing. I don't believe in magic. I believe in Jesus. I believe in prayer. I believe in the beautiful, faithful, persistence of my church community who lined up ten people deep to meet a brother in Christ who they knew had been in crisis even though they had never laid eyes on him. I believe in God's Kingdom people who loved me so much that they spoke my name, my dad's name, my sister's and brother's name over and over in their prayers for over a year to the Man of Sorrows acquainted with grief. They remembered that our Savior is not a high priest unable to sympathize with our suffering, but One who wept and grieved and asked His Father to take away His own suffering, just as I have over and over and over again in the past 16 months. 

I've wondered what heaven might be like a lot over my lifetime and especially since my mom died. Perhaps most Christians have. Will it be puffy clouds and angels strumming harps? Babbling brooks and blue skies and birds chirping? A long table set with a feast and all of the people I've loved and missed laughing together? Recently, I wrote that I hope our welcome to heaven might be exactly like when a baseball player who just hit it walk-off homerun is greeted at home plate by his team and a crowd of cheering fans. The possibilties are endless.

As I watched my friends greet my dad with smiles and handshakes and absolute joy, I thought, "Well, maybe it will be exactly like this." A great cloud of witnesses who have borne your pain and sorrow will line up to await your arrival. They will shift on their feet in impatience like a child waiting to board a roller coaster at DisneyWorld. Their eyes will sparkle and their smiles will shine. They will barely be able to contain their excitement. 

"Welcome!" they will shout. "You've been in our hearts for so long. We've been waiting for you. Preparing for you. We are delighted to finally see you. Everything is going to be better now."

My friends brought heaven to earth for a bit this week and I was reminded that sometimes we don't have to wait to experience what it might be like. Sometimes as Psalm 27:13 tells us "we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."

Have a beautiful weekend, friends.

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