*except this week - more than a single photo and more than no words
I didn't really feel like going to the golf course on Tuesday, but I went with 3 of my 4 guys with the idea that I would drive the cart, have a drink and maybe sneak a peek at my book in between holes. Of course, I did dress up in my cute golf skirt and top and my fancy golf spikes, totally looking the part, but I purposely left my clubs at home because . . . ummmm . . . I'm awful.
On hole #3 my phone blew up with texts, calls and emails alerting me to the passing of Gavin Rupp just hours before. It's phenomenal to me how I could feel so many different emotions all in one moment. I felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I felt sickening grief, but I realized the grace of a God who would have me hear this news while surrounded by the bluest of skies, the shiniest of suns, the greenest of grass and (most of) my biggest of blessings. (one blessing away at camp) I realized that while I was immediately sending up prayers of comfort for the Rupps, in that same moment I had to be sure to send up prayers of gratitude for the grace-filled moments God was giving me right then and there. So I said thank you for the dancing blue eyes of the littlest boy, for the hands raised in victory after an Eagle by the biggest boy and for the steady words of my stoic husband, who knowing that I couldn't choke out the words myself, gently told those boys that the miracle they had prayed for was not to be.
After he heard the news, Drew and I drove quietly to the next hole. He took off his glasses and swiped his hand across his eyes. Then he looked up at me and said, "Mommy, I know it's so sad, but we were having so much fun. It's okay, right? Can we still have fun?"
Of course, I told him, that's exactly what we should do. So, we did.
We are off to see the ocean today, so I'll take a break from the computer and work on being grateful for the moments. Have a blessed weekend, friends.
For more moments, visit www.soulemama.com/
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