The first day of school.
Due to the fact that there will be a lovely, quiet, clean house for a number of hours today, I'm feeling a little bit like this:
The thing is, people, that my firstborn - my rosy-cheeked baby with springy blond curls who loved to stick his chubby fingers through the holes in The Very Hungry Caterpillar as we read it ten times a day - is going to high school in a few hours. HIGH.SCHOOL. I don't see any Eric Carle books on the English reading list. I.CAN'T.EVEN.
So, I'm also feeling a little bit like this:
And that means that I will likely find myself right smack in the middle of these two emotions for most of the day which means that my dear husband will hightail out of here as soon as possible, lest he spend the day with a wife who will remind him a lot of this guy.
Y'all, that's just not fair to anyone including those of you who stopped by this here blog today.
So, in light of my Tom-Cruise-circa-2005-state-of-mind, I'm going to stop writing now and pull from last year's first day of school post. Have a wonderful, manic day, mommas. We'll make it through.
From August 27, 2012
It's the first day of school. I tend to take on multiple personalities on the first day of school, so that what should be a relaxing day sometimes ends up an exhausting day. Today I've got one boy beginning his last year in middle school, one boy beginning his first year in middle school and one boy venturing off to his third year of elementary school, but it will be his first year without a big brother's hand to hold on the way in the door. I will drop them off and then make my annual phone call to my mom. She will answer and we will sing the "Alleluia" chorus and she will know that all of my people are up and out.
I will look around my empty house and I will find myself in a state of lonely euphoria. I will sit still and listen to the silence and then it will get too quiet. One minute I will be giddy and singing aloud to myself and the next I will be frantically trying to figure out how I can make time slam on the brakes, back up and let me start this motherhood thing all over again. One minute I'll grab a newly sharpened #2 pencil to start making a list of all the projects that I'll get done this year, all the while imagining the perfectly organized and clean house I'm about to have. The next minute I'll decide that I should just get in bed and watch talk shows for awhile or sit on the porch and read a book. I know that I'll end up driving by the playground to see if I can catch a glimpse of a little red-haired boy. I know I will picture my newest middle schooler being swallowed up in the hallway by a river of giant adolescents and for a few minutes I will contemplate homeschooling. I know that I will pray for my children and for their teachers and will try to use some kind of mama-telepathic-mind-power to send calm and confidence and compassion down the street, through the school doors and into the hearts of my boys.
Then I'll realize that all the regular life stuff still needs to be done and doing all that regular life stuff will focus me for a bit: laundry, school forms, banking, emails, scheduling, doctor appointment changing, dry cleaning runs, grocery store shopping, ironing, birthday present buying, toilet cleaning, etc. But, before any of that, I will make sure that I read the following...maybe a few times today...especially when I start looking at the clock and tapping the table waiting to hear the doorknob turn and the backpacks slam to the floor and the voices yell, "Mom, I'm home and I'm starving!"
Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one - as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.
When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.
-from Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young
Happy School Year, Mommies... whether they are going away to Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, College or even if they are staying at home with you, let's take a deep breath. Our God holds their hands even when we don't...even when we can't. That is some really great news for us, so let's just lean into Him today and then go ahead and do a little happy dance.
I will look around my empty house and I will find myself in a state of lonely euphoria. I will sit still and listen to the silence and then it will get too quiet. One minute I will be giddy and singing aloud to myself and the next I will be frantically trying to figure out how I can make time slam on the brakes, back up and let me start this motherhood thing all over again. One minute I'll grab a newly sharpened #2 pencil to start making a list of all the projects that I'll get done this year, all the while imagining the perfectly organized and clean house I'm about to have. The next minute I'll decide that I should just get in bed and watch talk shows for awhile or sit on the porch and read a book. I know that I'll end up driving by the playground to see if I can catch a glimpse of a little red-haired boy. I know I will picture my newest middle schooler being swallowed up in the hallway by a river of giant adolescents and for a few minutes I will contemplate homeschooling. I know that I will pray for my children and for their teachers and will try to use some kind of mama-telepathic-mind-power to send calm and confidence and compassion down the street, through the school doors and into the hearts of my boys.
Then I'll realize that all the regular life stuff still needs to be done and doing all that regular life stuff will focus me for a bit: laundry, school forms, banking, emails, scheduling, doctor appointment changing, dry cleaning runs, grocery store shopping, ironing, birthday present buying, toilet cleaning, etc. But, before any of that, I will make sure that I read the following...maybe a few times today...especially when I start looking at the clock and tapping the table waiting to hear the doorknob turn and the backpacks slam to the floor and the voices yell, "Mom, I'm home and I'm starving!"
Entrust your loved ones to Me; release them into My protective care. They are much safer with Me than in your clinging hands. If you let a loved one become an idol in your heart, you endanger that one - as well as yourself. Remember the extreme measures I used with Abraham and Isaac. I took Isaac to the very point of death to free Abraham from son-worship. Both Abraham and Isaac suffered terribly because of the father's undisciplined emotions. I detest idolatry, even in the form of parental love.
When you release loved ones to Me, you are free to cling to My hand. As you entrust others into My care, I am free to shower blessings on them. My Presence will go with them wherever they go, and I will give them rest. This same Presence stays with you, as you relax and place your trust in Me. Watch to see what I will do.
-from Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence by Sarah Young
Happy School Year, Mommies... whether they are going away to Kindergarten, Middle School, High School, College or even if they are staying at home with you, let's take a deep breath. Our God holds their hands even when we don't...even when we can't. That is some really great news for us, so let's just lean into Him today and then go ahead and do a little happy dance.
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