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Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Waiting on the Geniuses Daybook: May 13, 2014

Outside my window:
I am at the mall waiting on the Apple Genius people to text me that they are ready to show me their genius-ness and fix Kyle's phone.  So no window, but a bunch of skylights.  It's sunny up there.
I am thinking:
about summer plans - mission trips, basketball camp, church camp, VBS, vacations and whether or not I have missed the deadline on every one of them because each time I think to sit at the computer to sign up, I have forgotten why I'm there and I end up looking at patterned shorts from JCrew and summer dresses from Anthropologie.  It's a problem.
I am thankful:
for a Mother's Day weekend full of my boys, sunshine, baseball and meals that I didn't have to cook or clean up.  And this morning, I am so thankful for all of the high school baseball teams who have so graciously welcomed child cancer patients and their families into their dugouts and onto their fields while hosting Kyle's Kamp Diamond Dreams Games.  Teenagers can be pretty awesome.  It's shocking, I know.  But it's true.
In the kitchen:
there are cookies I have baked for a Bake Sale that Drew's team will be having this afternoon to raise money for Children's National Medical Center's Pediatric Oncology division.  Need a cookie?  Who doesn't?   If you're in my neighborhood, come by Giant from 4:30 pm-8:00pm and look for some cutie pie baseball players.
I am wearing:
cuffed jeans, sandals, black tshirt, jean jacket.  I am mere steps away from JCrew and Nancy just texted me that they are having a sale.  The fact that I am not in there running up my credit card is only the power of Jesus right now.  The Geniuses better make it snappy.
I am listening to:
mall traffic
I am going:
to be singing songs of thanks and praise when I don't have to make school lunches every morning this summer.  School lunches are causing me great despair lately.  Only 21 more days give or take. 
I am reading:
 A book about friendship called Nobody's Cuter Than You by Melanie Shankle.  I am only allowing myself a chapter at a time which is really difficult, but I don't want it to end, so I'm pacing myself.  Melanie's books and her blog make me laugh out loud, miss my Texas college days in the late 80s and early 90s something fierce and remember what a treasure it is to LAUGH LOUD and HARD and OFTEN. Her writing always reminds me of the decision I can make each day to choose joy and light.  There are terrible, tragic, serious things we come across everyday and they can become overwhelming.  I can spend my days angry, bitter and confused or I can look for the good things OF WHICH THERE ARE MANY (I'm yelling at myself, if you can't tell) and I can work to know what God would have me do about the rest.  Melanie Shankle's writing reminds me that our every day life can be ridiculous and hilarious and full of joy.  And she writes all that ridiculousness down.  I am so grateful.  Get the book, call your girls, plan a face to face date.  Look them in the eye, make them laugh until diet coke comes out of their noses.  CHOOSE JOY.
 A quote for today:"We absolutely need our Girlfriends because no man wants to hear all the words we have to say in the course of a day." - Melanie Shankle
I am hoping:
for another beautiful, memorable day at Washington Nationals Park this Friday where Kyle's team is blessed to be playing an exhibition game for the 2nd year in a row after being among the top fundraising teams for the Kyle's Kamp Memorial Day Tournament for Pediatric Cancer.  Young ball players getting the chance to play where the big leaguers play.  It does not get better.
I am learning:
that busy-ness is draining and soul sucking and damaging. Even if the busy-ness is due to doing wonderful, meaningful, important things.  EVEN IF.  There are friendships and relationships that suffer due to my need to set some sort of world record in the number of tasks I complete each day.  This busy-ness, this feeling that I MUST respond to every text and every email within seconds of receiving it?  It's ridiculous and damaging.  Last week, I was racing through Target like my cart was on fire.  I almost ran directly into a friend who I hadn't see in the flesh since December.  She is crazy busy.  I am crazy busy.  We stood in the aisle and talked for 15 minutes about our children and our parents and schedules.  We didn't use a cell phone signal to connect.  We used our eyes and our ears and our flesh and blood selves.  This was 15 minutes that I am certain each of us could have filled up by crossing off a few more things on our to do list.   I think God cemented our feet in that aisle and didn't let us move an inch until I had wrapped her in a giant hug.  Y'all.  I need to stop for a minute and I bet you might, too.  Look each other in the eye.  Listen to each other. It was 15 minutes out of a crazed, hurried day.  15 minutes of grace.  I needed it desperately. 
I am praying:
fervently for faith and clarity in the midst of a ridiculous onslaught of new childhood cancer patients in my world.  In the past month I have heard of three children from my own neighborhood diagnosed.  This is not a result of my being surrounded by this simply because of the volunteer work I do.  I could have never heard of Kyle's Kamp and still have been hit with this news.  This is by virtue of just living in a regular ol' community.  I can hit my knees in fear and "chicken little" this situation or I can listen hard to find what God wants me to do.  Please, please pray for Michael, Elizabeth, Matt and so many others.  My heart is bursting.  I need it to burst with faith and action rather than anger and fear.  I have some choice in that.
On my Ipod:
How Can it Be?  by Lauren Daigle and I Am Not Alone by Kari Jobe.  I can't get enough of these two songs.
I am wondering:
if my buddy, Mathias, who passed away only five months ago knew how much I needed this sky yesterday when I left our high school's baseball game which honored his memory and his family.  I cried on and off most of yesterday remembering how vibrant and alive he was only a year ago when he came to our Diamond Dreams game.  I held it together almost the whole evening as we honored his brother, Troy and as I left, I noticed this sky.  Actually, I'm not at all wondering if Mathias knew his family and friends and I needed this sky.  I am certain he did. You can be so close to us if we choose to believe it, Mathias.  Thanks for showing up.

I am pondering:
"...I wonder, are we all so overwrought with grief at the thought of a little boy gone too soon, that we're seeing things?  Wishing? Grasping? Trying to see connection and significance where there is none?  Or could it be that at times like this, when the unimportant falls away like chaff to the ground, we are finally able to recognize what God is doing in the world around us every single day? . . . Everyone will lose in this world and signs of comfort reminds us that there is great love even in our darkest moments" - Anna Whitson-Donaldson in Rare Bird (just so you know.  I don't think it's the first thing - the wishing or grasping.  I think it's the second thing - great love, the greatest most complete love that there is.  The love of a God who will never ever leave us alone.)
A verse for today:
"Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens.  Your faithfulness to the skies." - Psalm 36:5
One of my favorite things:
The crack of the bat

A few plans for the week:
My Stitch Fix box came!!!!  Look for a post next week!
A peek into my day: 
Praying to not to look like an idiot when hanging with the geniuses.  Might be a futile prayer.

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