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Friday, October 6, 2017

Hey, Nineteen

Today is my firstborn's 19th birthday. Last year on his 18th birthday, I wrote about all the ways he has made me better since he showed up at 5:25 am on October 6, 1998. He was then and continues to be irrefutable evidence that the Lord gives us a child as a gift, but also as a teacher.

Last year, the future was uncertain. He was in the midst of writing essays and filling out college applications. My heart was anxious and in constant prayer that God would make the way clear. That he would handle disappointments with grace and trust. That he would keep his eyes fixed on God and believe that He would make the path straight.

Today he will spend his birthday away from us for the first time. With new friends in a new place. I won't make him cinnamon rolls for breakfast. We won't go to his favorite restaurant for wings and cheese fries. I won't watch him open gifts.

And yet, in a shocking development, I did not wake up with an empty, anxious heart due to the absence of him today. Instead my heart is full of so much gratitude, so much peace, and so much joy. But the overriding peace I feel today is an immeasurable trust in the way the Lord has and will continue to love us through every change, in every season.

Today if there comes a moment when I feel his absence too deeply, I'll do what I told him to do if ever he felt homesick. I'll remember that even though we aren't under the same roof today, we both fell asleep last night under the same moon, we woke up under the same sun, and we are breathing in and out under the same sky. Better yet, we are held by the same God who has proven time and time again to love us more than we could ever deserve.

Bonus: The Lord saw fit to send my kid to a school where he will spend his birthday in a place called Happy Valley. Can't ask for more joy than that.

Happy Birthday, Kid. I love you so much.

"I give thanks to my God for every remembrance of you."
Philippians 1:3

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