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Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Fall Lovin' Post: Almost . . .Until it gets hijacked by JLo

In my Summer Lovin' post I wrote about some of my favorite things about summer and now since summer is leaving me, I thought I should try to embrace Fall.  This is difficult because I have an unhealthy relationship with Summer.  I will do anything for Summer.  I might need a 12 step Summer-Anon meeting.

Honestly, though, it's quite possible that Fall in Virginia (most of the time) is just about what Heaven will be like all of the time.  I love you, Texas, you know I do.  I especially love the fact that the State Fair of Texas rolls around in the Fall and even if you have to wear shorts and a tank top because it's still 95 degrees, you get a Fletcher's Corny Dog while you watch the Horns beat the Sooners and that is pretty Heavenish in and of itself.  But Fall in Virginia?  I'm sorry, but it kicks your big Texan butt.  Hook 'Em Horns.  Love you.  So much.  I do.  It's just about the trees, really.  The trees.  Oh my gosh, the trees.  Texas, you would not BELIEVE the trees.  Our Father, Who art in Heaven, you totally hit it out of the park with the trees.  Genius, God.  Genius. 

Anyway, my Summer Lovin' post had quite a few references to clothing and shoes because I'm a girl and I can't help it.  So I thought I would add some of my favorite fall girly things to the Fall Lovin' list which will include the previously mentioned trees and of course, Texas football.  It's pretty hilarious that I should try to write a post about fashion though because 90% of my life is spent in Nike Running shorts and a t-shirt in the summer and that Nike wicking material stuff in the winter, even when I have no intention of running.  Oh, and knee bands. *sigh*

But I do love fall clothes:  jeans and boots and blazers and scarves and purses (!),  but not sweaters.  Well, I love the look of sweaters, but I have decided that I have some sort of allergy to a lot of sweater materials.  It took me awhile to realize that it was maybe an allergy which shows that I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box.  I start turning red and itching like mad whenever I wear sweaters.  I usually think it's the tag at first and I start ripping them all off.  Then I think that maybe Texas people just aren't made for sweaters and that all Texans must walk into the house and rip off their sweaters as soon as possible and walk around in their bras.   I just thought that I wasn't a "sweater person".  Kind of like when Drew threw up the first few times he had peanuts and I thought that was really weird, and maybe he just wasn't a "nut person", until someone said, "YOU IDIOT, he's allergic."  Oh.

Anyway, summer is going to leave me no matter how many ways I try to make it stick around so I thought I'd look around to see what kind of fall fashion I could be loving about now.  This is how my fashion research for Fall 2012 started off.

When I was young (er), I would get so excited about the Seventeen magazine Back-to-School fashion issue.  I wanted to be Phoebe Cates in the worst way.  So, when I was at Target last week, I saw InStyle in the check out line and it had a huge banner across the top that said FALL FASHION! and 652 PAGE MEGA ISSUE and FALL BAG & BOOT BLOWOUT!  My heart started beating really fast and I remembered how much I LOVE that magazine.  A friend of mine and I used to talk about it all the time.  We couldn't wait for it to come in the mail.  Then one day she told me she thought she was too old for it and I thought, "Wow, that's so sad that she's so old."  Then I realized that she and I are the same age, so now she is dead to me.  Just kidding.  Really, I let my subscription go just because I was too lazy to renew it and for some crazy reason, my kids grew up a bit and I suddenly had time to read books again, like with lots of words and with no pictures.  So I stood there in Target and realized that I haven't really read an InStyle magazine in a really long time and I thought,  "I don't know who I am anymore."  And JLo was on the cover just staring at me, taunting me, saying "I am the same age as you are, girlfriend.*  Buy me!" So I did.  And here is what my contemporary, JLo, is wearing:



Let me tell you something:  JSkin cannot pull that off at the Little League field or eating lunch at Panera or anywhere else for that matter.

Then I flipped a little farther and I found this and I scanned it just for you:


Now the only reason that I can't get away with this is because this is a sweater.  It has nothing to do with the fact that it is a swimsuit made out of a sweater paired with red socks and sandals and some sort of cape.  Because if not for my sweater allergy, I would absolutely wear this to my Bible Study meeting this week and I'm sure everyone would be able to concentrate on my thoughts on Solomon and Bathsheba and Adonijah and the gang.

Still, I kept searching through my beloved InStyle and I realized I need to run to the library before I can go to Drew's 2nd grade class to be the Mystery Reader today. I have found the perfect outfit (and expression) to wear.  I just need to go find a book about train conductors and then I will be a big hit when I show up in this:


Are you kidding me, InStyle?  I'm going to need to close up now and come back to you later with some of my real favorites because the absurdity of what I found here just turned into its own post all by itself.  And it is not because I'm not young enough for InStyle, it's just that I am not "JLo" enough and I gotta say, that I am A-OK with that.  I'll meet you back here next week with some favorite things that do not include full body lace, sweater swimsuits or something that Sir Topham Hatt would wear.

*Attention Coach C:  JLo and I are the same age, but she was born 3 days post-Neil Armstrong's walk on the moon while you and I are pre-Neil Armstrong's walk on the moon.  I thought it important that I point that little fact out just for you as a thank you for your dedication to The View from Behind Home Plate even when it's not about baseball. 

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