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Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A Coupleish Things

I'm warning you, now.  I've got nothing today.

Except that I'm sitting here waiting on the A/C guy which means that this will probably turn into me having a couple of things. 

Look.  If you have work to do or a child to raise or you just need to pluck your eyebrows, I would say just move along because I'm sort of in a mood.

Here are my coupleish things:

1.  When I came downstairs just now, I was trying to read a text and was not watching where I was going and I tripped over a baseball glove and it really hurt.  Maybe most people would just grumble about how irresponsible their children are even though they have told them 1,000 times to not leave their stuff on the floor, but what I do on a day like today is sit down and cry.  Then I go all the way to "no one in this family respects me or loves me or cares about me at all". 

Which makes me look at the calendar and go "Oh." 

And you think I wouldn't be surprised by the calendar because just about a month ago at this time I was leaving for Bible Study and telling my husband about how much of a failure I was and that no one liked me in the entire family and that with the Boston tragedy and all there was just no way that I could keep my kids safe.  I cried all the way to Bible Study and then worked in the nursery and cried again because we're not having any more babies.  Later in the day, my husband sent me an email asking how I was doing.  I sent him a photo of the cutest little girl from the nursery.  I had decided we should adopt even though she was definitely not up for adoption and I had previously told him that my children didn't like me.  

Later that night, I said to him, "Hey remember how everyone hated me this morning and the world was a terrible place and I needed to save all the orphans?  Well, it looks like I need to go to the store to buy tampons."

To which he said the same thing he says every month which is, "How is it that you never see that coming?"

And obviously, I'm not the only one who doesn't see it coming because THIS is hilarious.

2.  I've been watching The Voice because there is a fabulously talented gal on it named Amber who is from my hometown.  I don't know this gal or her family at all, but suddenly I've decided she is my best friend and I hold my breath and cry when she keeps making it through to the next round.  Apparently, I am not alone though because my hometown friend, Angie, pointed out on Facebook that Amber is from our hometown, so she suddenly feels famous.  I have also decided that because she is from my hometown and she is on Team Adam, it must follow that Adam Levine is in love with me.  Also, I wanted to point out that I loved Adam wearing the striped shirt the other night because it wasn't all rock-star-ish and could very well be from The Gap.  And I love stripes.  When Mrs. R. and I go shopping, just about every time I pick up a shirt, she says, "You have 10 shirts just like that."  If you don't believe her look at my closet.  It's a problem.


3.  Remember the CEO of Abercrombie and Fitch, our friend, Spanky? THIS is awesome. 

4.  My list of things to do today includes mailing two letters and a number of emails, taking a kid to the doctor AGAIN, the dry cleaners, 3 baseball games and buying MORE socks.  I'm not really sure how the world would keep spinning if I wasn't around.

Ok, now I have to go because the A/C guy is just about ready for me to pay. He had to replace some very small pump that is going to cost me an arm and a leg and I'll probably decide that he is charging me more than anyone else because just like my entire family, he doesn't like me at all.

I'm going now, for real.  Do you feel like you just won the lottery because this post is over?  Hey, don't blame me.  I told you that you should go pluck your eyebrows.

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