Beauty is only skin deep.
The world ought to admire wrinkles as the etchings of experience and the firm lines of character.
That second line is from some guy named Clarence Day.
Yes, of course, but back off for a minute, Clarence, because now I'm going to get super-shallow and talk about beauty products and beg for help from my reader friends, all of whom are quite aware that their hearts and souls are more important than their crow's feet and age spots. Blah, blah, blah.
I have to say that March is probably the time when my self esteem takes the biggest hit even though I know that my self-esteem should have nothing to do with how I look. (Sit down, Clarence) Most of the time, but not all of the time, March is just grey and sickly looking which is kind of the same way I feel and look during the month of March. And it follows that my bank account might suffer a hit is well because around this time of the year I start a frantic search for miracle beauty products.
This is where you come in, dear reader. HELP ME. You can read what I've been using and then tell me what your favorite products are. It'll be really shallow and mind-numbing stuff. Ok? Let's go.
The good news for my bank account is that at least for now, I tend to buy most of my beauty products at CVS because I'm very sophisticated. I also constantly feel like those expensive products are going to take me for a ride. Also, I'm not sure if you're aware but checking out at CVS is very much like hitting the jackpot at the slot machines in Vegas. You get miles of coupons attached to your receipt that come gushing out of the register. I often expect that any minute there will be lights and sirens going off and a lady named Gladys donning a visor will run over with her fanny pack to help me collect my winnings. This is my receipt from picking up one prescription.
Papa needs a new pair of shoes. Or perhaps . . . Mama needs a . . .
The people in the beauty product marketing game were definitely thinking of a sucker like me when they started labeling everything a serum. A serum is only something that a genius would develop in his lab with all manner of beakers and Bunsen burners. If someone akin to the Professor on Gilligan's Island would come up with it, I AM IN.
For as long as I can remember I have read about how all the beautiful celebrities use this:
This is the cream and the serum made by the La Mer folks costs $290.00 for 1 ounce. Apparently, JLo puts this stuff all over her body. Which means it might be worth it because my sister and I had a 20 minute conversation the other day about how beautiful JLo's skin is. (Yes, Sister and I have very deep and meaningful talks.) Anyway, La Mer is not available at your local CVS and unless Gladys and I hit it big in Vegas, this stuff will never touch my face.
Instead, I've been using the Oil of Olay line lately because it keeps winning all the InStyle Magazine awards for being the best drugstore brand. But Oil of Olay has about 543 different collections with names like Regenerist, Age Defying, Pro-X and Total Effects. It's overwhelming, frankly. I've been using Regenerist Micro-Sculpting Cream which I read is for skin that is fatigued. And since I'm quite sleepy and they threw in that science-y word "micro", I felt it a good choice.
Also, I have an adorable Mary Kay gal in my neighborhood and I really liked their TimeWise Collection. I also am contemplating this Rapid Wrinkle Repair Serum from Neutrogena for no other reason than the fact that Jennifer Garner is their spokesperson and I feel certain that she's just like all my real friends and would never lie to me. (I told you I am a sucker.)
I'm obviously confused, so if you have any miracle serum/potions/wrinkle micro or macro ideas that don't cost an arm and a leg, please let me know.
In regard to other products, I'm going to confess that I've been wearing pretty much the same make up since I was 15 years old. Give or take. By which I mean give any number of products which have spot reducer in the title and take electric blue eyeliner. That seems to add up to about 30 years of not changing my makeup. Perhaps therein lies the problem because if one has gotten rid of her stirrup pants and hot pink plastic hoop earrings, one likely should move in a new direction on her face.
These are some of my make up choices. Some from the mall and some from CVS.
Lancome Dual Finish Pressed Powder
Honestly, I have worn this for thirty years. It covers a lot of stuff. It's got it's work cut out for it lately though. It's not at CVS, but it's not terribly expensive and it lasts a long time.
Lancôme Juicy Tubes,
I have had this for a long time and I really like it, although the name is embarrassing. It seems very Britney Spears circa 1999. I like the Beach Plum color.
The Shu Uemura Eyelash Curler
is the best ever. The problem is that they used to sell it at Sephora but now you can only order from some foreign company online. I fancy myself a patriot and that feels like some kind of Anti-American conspiracy to me.
Almay Eye Makeup Remover Pads
This is the only eye make up remover that ever seems to really do the job. I've used it forever. It's at CVS, so there's a good chance you have a coupon for it.
Sister-Recommended Foundation from Maybelline
This is a photo of the text my sister sent me last week. I cannot vouche for this stuff yet, but Sister generally doesn't lie unless you count the time that I asked her if I could wear her new never-been-worn top out on a date in high school and she said, in a tone that I clearly did not pick up on, "FINE." Come to find out, fine did not really mean fine. Not.at.all. Oops.
Younique Moodstruck 3D Fiber Lashes
I want to tell you how much I love this mascara because a bunch of high school buddies who I love are selling it and it is supposed to be AMAZING. This is the problem. I ordered it and I got the package and put it on the dining room table with piles of mail and school forms and the like. Then someone was coming to my house ANY MINUTE, so I shoved all of that junk in a drawer or a closet somewhere right quick to clean up. And I have yet to find this amazing product because for some reason it is not in the usual place that I shove things when I'm trying to pretend my house is not a wreck. I'll find it soon and I know that I'll love it because like Sister and Jennifer Garner, these girls are true blue, non-lying friends.
(Pipe down, Clarence. Of course, I know that I shouldn't worry about what people think about the condition of my house and that I should just welcome everyone in with the love and hospitality of Jesus.)
The Rusk Super Freak Hair dryer
Well, now, y'all. I'm pretty sure that this hair dryer and I are destined to be together. In Texas, we have a saying: The bigger the hair, the closer to God. My friend, Jenni R., who hails from the great big-haired state of Mississippi says that this hair dryer has changed her life. I'm inclined to believe her and I'm pretty sure this will be my next purchase.
Last thing: Have you heard of Birchbox? I can't remember where I read about it, but you sign up for a monthly subscription and they send you samples of different products and then you send them back or use them or something like that. I don't remember because I'm old and I didn't read all the details because I'm tired. But there's the link up there, so knock yourself out.
So that's what I've got today. And you can't get those moments that you spent reading this back. It's not my fault. So what you need to do now is go to the comments and tell me all about your favorite caffeine/retinol infused anti-aging wrinkle reducer serums and any other products you like. Clarence is going to zip it for awhile and let us be all shallow and girly for a bit. It'll be fun. 1,2,3. Go.