it's overcast. Rain coming, I think.
I am thinking:
(get ready - it's A LOT this morning) about those who look at life through a negative lens, as if every bad thing that happens is a sign of the universe against them, of a God who doesn't care, who has, perhaps, even specifically dealt them a crappy hand. I am thinking about how that kind of thinking is easy to pick up and perhaps even easy to defend, in light of the very prevalent and obvious brokenness of our world. I am thinking that because I often feel guilt at the blessings of my life, I feel woefully inept at spreading the hope that I find in Jesus because maybe I haven't felt tragedy and pain as deep as someone else has, so maybe my words sound empty? I'm thinking about how God puts people in our lives specifically - that no meeting is an accident and I'm thinking about a calling to witness. I am thinking how sad it would be to not believe that God does love me, that He does want good things for me and that the fact that there are annoying circumstances, tragic challenges, difficult people in our path, doesn't lessen how very much He wants my life to be - not perfect, not easy - but still beautiful and meaningful and hopeful. I'm thinking a lot about feeling a failure because if our faith is an inspiration to the faithful, well, that's great, I suppose. But what about the unfaithful. Isn't that the point? And am I completely missing the mark?
I am thankful:
that God is bigger than me, bigger than my words, bigger than my voice. That He will move when He decides to move in the people I pray for, not according to my faith, not according to my will, but according to His faithfulness and His will. So after all that fret and all that thinking above, the answer might just be to be thankful. I'm pretty sure that finding something - anything - to be thankful for is the answer to just about everything.
A verse for today:
"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him" - Psalm 103:11
I am wearing:
Nike black tank top, running shoes, Texas Longhorn running shorts. A bold move, I'd say, based on the fact that my 'Horns went down in flames 41-7 to BYU on Saturday night. Heartache.
I am hoping:
that if that quarterback from BYU gets an invitation to the Heisman Trophy award ceremony this year, he'll have the grace to send the Texas Longhorns a big ol' bouquet of flowers and a giant thank you note. You're welcome, young man.
I am listening to:
Kelly and Michael talking about how William and Kate are going to have another baby. Sweet news in light of all the horror happening in the news these days.
I am going:
to try for a short, slow run today on my sore legs in the cooler temperatures after trying to pull off nine miles last week in humidity that was around approximately 1,045%.
I am reading:
Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls
I am learning:
that a bunch of moms on a group text could run the world. You cannot imagine how quickly a calendar of sports practices and games that brings me to the edge of panic can get sorted out by four women with Iphones. We cannot be defeated, I'm telling you.
I am praying:
many prayers of praise and thanks for this little smiling face. Sabrina, a 3 year old neuroblastoma survivor, who I met in the spring had a medical scare this weekend and spent some time in the hospital where I'm sure she was charming the pants off of everyone she saw. She got to go home last night. This face. Can you even stand it?
I am wondering:
if anyone would like to know that yesterday as all five of my people finally made it to church together for the first time in longer than I care to mention, these things happened.
1) during a lovely singing of the Lord's Prayer as I bowed my head and got teary eyed, one boy leaned over my lap to whisper to the other boy, "I'm going to get you back, you know that, right?"
2) as we were getting ready to go up for communion someone asked me, "If I'm not that hungry, do I have to go up?"
3) one of my people took both the gluten free "body of Christ" and the regular "body of Christ". I suppose when it's been awhile since one has been to communion, one needs to be covered by both.
Um, Father, it's might take us a minute to get back in the swing. Please forgive. We'll get better.
I am pondering:
this quote from the insert that came with my Dr. Perricone's Cold Plasma Sub D skin cream that I ordered off an infomercial during a particularly weak moment last week. "it will re-establish facial harmony". Oh my word, I am a sucker.
A quote for today:
"Cold Plasma Sub - D utilizes powerful actives suspended in a revolutionary patented delivery system for maximum nutrient uptake." - Some guy with a thesaurus who works for Dr. Perricone
One of my favorite things:
a perfect sunny day, a bunch of girls, a glass of wine, a lot of chatter and a lot of people dedicated to children fighting for their lives.
Me and My Girls at Kegs and Corks for Kids with Cancer
A few plans for the week:
baseball, golf, a Nats game with the gals, visiting with some special kiddos at the clinic, Community Bible Study starts.
A peek into my day:
Well apparently starting today, my face is going to be experiencing some harmony.
Daybook idea from www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com