Rainy Monday Daybook: 5-22-27

For Today:

Looking out my window:

It's early and raining on and off. The sky has lightened since I work at 5:30 am, but I don't expect it to get much brighter. I'm so sad I missed snapping a photo of the family of deer who walked by earlier as my phone was upstairs. She and her babies don't seem to mind the grey day. I'm not a fan of rainy days, but today I think I'll take my cue from them.

I am thinking:

that nothing is going to get done around here if I don't pull myself away from poring through photo books and old computer files of my boys. I got an email that the senior moms need to send some early photos of their players to the parent who is creating a slideshow for the baseball banquet. That has led me down a rabbit trail of emotions and giggling and I don't know how to stop.  I found this one yesterday of the day we brought Drew home from the hospital. I feel like Kyle is looking at Joe with a "Dude, how do you think this whole thing is gonna work?" face. And as usual, Joe is just going to let both little brothers know exactly how things are gonna go down.

I am thankful:

for another chance or two to see our Varsity baseball team play. If you read this post on Friday, you know it was a "win or go home" game for them. The game was rained out on Friday, so we played on Saturday. One of the moms had to be away on Saturday, so she asked if I could text her updates, but to please not worry about it too much because she wanted me to enjoy the game. 

Well, as much as I intended to enjoy the game, I more or less endured it. It was a painfully close game. The Lovely and Talented Mrs. C. and I went to the restroom at one point and as we watched from the outfield on our way back to the our seats, our boys scored a run. So that was that. We never went back to our seats. No phones, no water, no snacks, no sitting. We stayed until the end. My sister-in-law took this shot of us, but you can't even see us because we were waaayyy out in right field. We are completely cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

I am thankful for getting to watch boys on both teams playing their hearts out. I'm thankful for a chance to win or lose again and for a chance to hang out with my straight up weirdo baseball mom friends a couple of more times. From now on it's all gravy. I will enjoy the fire out of these post season games.

One of my favorite things:

All the plaid and all the gingham and all the checks for spring. I have had a long time addiction to stripes which has changed into an addiction to plaid. There are some adorable tops out there right now. Here are some of my favorites.

Plaid Tie-Front Blouse

The tie front on this is so cute and it comes in three different color options.

Mixed Gingham Shirt

I have this pop over shirt in white and a navy/white gingham, so I don't need this one in my life, but maybe you do.

Madewell Plaid Tie Back Top

This one ties in the back. So cute.

Patchwork Plaid Bow Dress

I will definitely buy this for Fake Daughter. I have to apologize if you have a Real Daughter and then click on this because it appears to be sold out in the real world. But if you have a Fake Daughter like me you can get this in whatever size you want and come to think of it in Fake World it's 100% off, too. Isn't it going to be so cute?

I am wearing:

black and white striped pjs from Old Navy and a longsleeve black tshirt that says "Make Things Happen" which is not really my current mood. Last week was a blur of activity and I'm hoping to slow down this week. I might make a thing happen here or there, but not a whole lot of things.

I am reading:

I am slowly, slowly getting near the end of My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry which has nothing whatsoever to do with the quality of the book and everything to do with the fact that May is trying to kill me. It is a quirky, unique, delightful book. I definitely recommend it.

I am watching:

I'm not sure if anyone else in the world is still watching Grey's, but I watched most of the most recent season in the past few weeks on my iPad because Celtics basketball is on my real tv all the darn time and with all due respect to the rabid fans in my house, I don't care one iota about the NBA. 

I hate ironing with a passion so I don't do it until I have a huge basket overflowing with wrinkled clothes. Last week, I tackled that huge basket and ironed for what seemed like an eternity while watching Parks and Rec. It's hilarious. I've always loved Amy Poehler, but Chris Pratt and Aziz Ansari are also geniuses in this show. I am way late to this party, and I was simply giddy when The Lovely and Talented Mrs. C. reminded me that Rob Lowe shows up soon.

I am listening to:

I planted what seemed like 7,000 flowers in my front yard beds a couple of weeks ago, so I listened to the podcast, S-Town ,while I was digging and schlepping Miracle Gro around. It is wildly popular right now and I can see why. The story is compelling and the characters are fascinating. While you will definitely want to have in your ear buds (not suitable for little ears) and it's not a happy tale, I recommend it for a long road trip or getting through tasks which don't require your full attention. Great story telling here.

I am hoping:

For perspective this week. As I sat in the pew at church yesterday, after rushing in late from a basketball game, "perspective" was the word that the Lord laid on my heart. That along with "Watch it, Sister, because you are teetering mighty close to the edge of a gross amount of self-involvement." Ouch.

May is a crazy busy season for everyone and this May for my family is full of joy and excitement and chaos and a big ol' dose of "HOW IN THE WORLD IS HE ALREADY GRADUATING???" I am quite consumed with this senior year business, baseball season and my list of to-dos. I think the Lord gives us our own set of tasks each day and it's our job to follow our own path, but I also know He gives us the ability to avert our gaze to others and expects that we do so.

I am hoping to remember that there is a mom out there that isn't hoping for one more baseball game for her kid to play. She's hoping for just one friend for her kid to play with. There's a mom out there who isn't stressed over all the activities that go along with high school graduation because her son was lost to a terrible accident so he didn't make it to high school at all. There is a mom who isn't filling out medical forms and looking at housing options and paying bills for college because she can't afford to send her kid to school.

I'm hoping for joy in this season and a healthy dose of perspective. I heard Your message, Lord. I'm hoping to heed it.

I am learning:

that as much as I love to watch my boys play, I do have a limit. After the "this is so close that my heart is going to beat out of my chest" baseball game on Saturday, I went to two basketball games for Kyle. This is not what I needed in my life. A piano concert would have been a better choice. Basketball games are fast and physical and sweaty and chaotic. Most of the time I am able to recognize and deal with the climate that is quite different from baseball. I can abide some smack talking and some swagger because that's just part of the game once the players get to high school. But I'm learning that on certain days, it's all a little too much. And on certain days there is a kid or maybe there are two kids covering your kid and they're all up in his face and their lips are moving and you really want to think they're saying, "Well, hello, friend. Isn't this an enjoyable activity we've chosen this evening? Best of luck to you."  But they're not saying that. And sometimes there are fans on the other side egging that stuff on and you have to try really hard to keep your bottom in your seat and your mouth closed. I am learning how to do that from my son. Because from my view, for the most part, he keeps his eyes on his own teammates and his mouth shut. And as frustrating as it might become, the boy just plays. So I'm learning that although I may have a limit, the Lord equips our children for every challenge - even up in your face, defiant, threatening challenge. And we mamas must sit back and watch them meet those challenges. Play on, Son. You make me proud.

In my kitchen:

It might be dreary outside, but I got sunshine on a cloudy day because Nancy and I went to the Farmer's Market on Saturday and I stocked up on some juices including this Sassy Sunshine juice with orange, tumeric, ginger and cayenne from Greenheart Juice Shop. 

Post Script:

Have y'all seen these ladies discuss the ridiculousness of women's swimsuits? You must. Go. Now.

Shared Quote:

I've lots of friends who are grieving and I've learned from them how often they are judged on if they're "doing it right" . . .even by well meaning, loving, concerned people. So when I read this quote in the book I'm reading it stuck out to me. 

"People in the real world always say, when something terrible happens, that sadness and loss and aching pain of the heart will lessen as time passes, but it isn't true. Sorrow and loss are constant, but if we had to go through our whole lives carrying them the whole time, we wouldn't be able to stand it. The sadness would paralyze us. So in the end we just pack it into bags and find somewhere to leave it."

- Fredrick Backman, My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's Sorry

Those of us who are trying to help the grieving? Perhaps we might just be open and willing to be a safe place for someone to leave their bag of sadness? Not so that we can swoop in to analyze it or fix it or dump it out and flush it down the drain, but just to be the somewhere that they can leave it.

A moment from my day:

I'm so grateful to get to wash this smelly thing again so that it will live to see another game. So grateful.

Closing Notes:

I'm a sucker for a good smelling candle so if you are as well, I want to share what is making me ten kinds of happy this morning. This Orange Blossom and Driftwood Candle by White Barn is a game changer on a dreary day. It smells like sunshine and spring and all the good feelings.

Happy Monday, Friends!

Prompts from thesimplewoman.blogspot.com

(This post contains some affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on certain links.) 

Monday Daybook: "Where am I?" Edition

Outside my window:
A lot more trees than I'm used to looking at, a lot more grass than I'm used to looking at and nary a sight of my best friend's back porch.
I am thinking:
A lot about how resistant to even the smallest of changes I am. And how really fear-based that kind of thinking is. I have noticed in the last few days how desperately I want to feel "at home" here and how impatient I am with getting used to my surroundings. I just about lost it yesterday when I couldn't find the appropriate place for the loaf pans. As if I ever use loaf pans. It's kind of ridiculous. It occurs to me that I am being way overly dramatic about moving 3 miles away. My sister moved from Dallas to San Jose, California and I have a friend moving from here to Colorado this summer. (I mean, settle down, Girlfriend, right?) I will go to the same church, to the same school assemblies, the same baseball parks and to the same restaurants. I will not lose my friends and my family will not fall apart because we've made one change to our lives. Sister and I were talking the other day about how I have a "When will the other shoe drop?" mentality. My life has been extraordinarily blessed. It's as if I feel that if I make one step outside of what I've been doing for twenty-ish years that the whole thing will fall apart. (Again, take it down a notch, freakshow.)
I am thankful:
for my four guys. They are steady and sure and familiar. Even when they are arguing or leaving their stuff everywhere or yelling from the other side of the house wondering where the toilet paper is. I'm also thankful for a God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and settles my wandering mind.
In the kitchen:
I don't know where anything is.
I am wearing:
black running pants, grey tshirt, Nikes, new progressive contact lenses that are a true blue MIRACLE.
I am listening to:
the clothes spin in the washer. Now that is a familiar sound.
I am going:
to buy a tube of toothpaste for each boy today. They don't share a bathroom any more. Something I didn't think about: new toothpaste budget.
I am reading:
the book of Jude this week for my Bible study class.
I am hoping:
for sunshine. It's been an incredibly gloomy, grey weekend and the forecast doesn't look good.
I am looking forward to:
wearing my new Tom's Cork Wedges that are crazy comfortable and cute. And now on sale (!) COME ON, SPRING. My feet are ready. Bring it.
I am praying:
for endurance and faith for friends who are desperately trying to believe that His plan is good and perfect even when it makes no sense to us right now.
On my Ipod:



I am pondering:
Prayer. And how to encourage friends who are walking in faith, praying fervently and begging mercy to believe that He hears and is here even when it seems He is silent and absent. It's hard. It's so hard.
A quote for today:
“There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety - let us pray that we may always know it!” 
― Corrie ten Boom
A verse for today:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
One of my favorite things:
spending time with this boy on college visits, marveling at how bright is his future and being stunned at how fearless and excited he is for the next chapter in life. How unlike his mama he is in this way. I'm so grateful.

A few plans for the week:
Lots of watching these boys on the diamond.

A peek into my day: 

A Veteran's Daybook: Wednesday, November 11, 2015

Outside my window:
the sun is bright and the sky is clear after a dreary, wet day yesterday.
I am thinking:
about my (girl) people this morning.  Oh, the testosterone up in here.  It takes a toll sometimes.  I miss my flesh and blood mom.  I need my flesh and blood sister.  Not on the phone, not in a text. Sometimes it is so hard to be so far away  Sometimes the missing comes out of no where and it makes me lay my head down on my desk and the tears come flying out all over the place.  There is no emergency or terrible tragedy that makes me need them so.  It's just the missing.  It's too much some days.  Today is that day. [and the massive glass of wine at lunch wouldn't hurt today either ;-)]

I am thankful:
that baseball season is over for 2015.  Baseball tried really hard to keep me around by throwing some excitement into the last game I had to attend.  Joe has not played catcher since he was about eleven, but when I showed up to his game on Sunday he was wearing the gear (borrowed from the opponent) He told me that none of the team's regular catchers could make the game that day, so he volunteered.  This kid is truly up for anything.  He is the ultimate "yes" man.  Although I think he might have kicked himself for being so eager - had his tired legs been able to actually kick - by the 7th inning of the 2nd game of the double header.  Still, it was an entertaining way to end the season. And, yes.  I love to watch him play - no matter what position he takes.

  
In the kitchen:
Brussels sprouts.  I'm obsessed.  There are lots of fancy recipes out there, but I really just like them tossed with olive oil and kosher salt and roasted at 400 degree for 20 minutes.  You're welcome.  Cooking Show to come, I'm sure.
I am wearing:
this green plaid shirt that I got from Target(!) for a gazillion or so less dollars than the plaid shirt I featured from Anthro (SCORE!).  I love the cut, the color, the material and the price.  Also, I'm wearing jeans and these boots.  Mine are grey, but unfortunately the grey is sold out.  They are, however, ON SALE in other colors.  I might not be a fan of The Donald but if he ends up in the White House, The Ivanka should be Secretary of the Boot Department. ;-)
I am listening to:
silence.
I am going:
to clean out boy #3's closet.  I have taken on one closet a day this week.  Please, hold your applause until I have tackled the third one.  PS I have discovered no less than 54 baseball hats so far.  This is only 1/3 of the number of hats in this house.

I am wondering:
about the significance of studying this verse for my bible study meeting minutes before discovering we had 54 baseball caps in our home.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy . . . For where your treasure is, there is your heart also." - Matthew 6:19,21

Ahem.  Understood, God.  Understood.
I am reading:
For the Love by Jen Hatmaker.  I'm trying desperately to drag this one out.  I'll be so sad when it's over.
I am hoping:
that the Great Fish Tragedy of 2014 does not visit us again.  Drew's buddy gave him a brand new fish for his birthday.  He's a delightful little fish.  Little Red is the epitome of health and vitality and though we miss our fungus riddled, protruding-eyed, freaky Blue Ridge the Betta Fish, we are blessed to welcome this little guy to his bowl, complete with blue disco light and plastic tree.
I am looking forward to:
Friday which will be the day that the very last 5th grade science project will exit the Skinner house.  And the people said, "AMEN AND HALLELUJAH."
I am praying:
for Joe and his classmates and faculty advisers  as they travel to Orlando tomorrow for a journalism education convention.
On my Ipod:
Well, THIS.  OF COURSE.
I am pondering:
searching for calling.  It seems to be a thing of late.  Especially among those of us whose babies are becoming more independent and perhaps even threatening to do something completely insane like attend college.  The elusive search can be a bit annoying if you think about it.  It, in fact, can devalue the essential day-to-day work we have been given by God to do NOW.  I didn't come to this thought process on my own.  Jen Hatmaker put me in my place with this:  "In many ways the perception of calling is a luxury of the privileged.  A life's purpose need not be authenticated by a business plan, a 501c3, a website, a salary, or an audience.  We get to labor over our "calling" because we are educated and financially stable, so many eschew the honor of ordinary work and instead fret over the perception of wasting our lives."
A quote for today:
"Balance.  It's like a unicorn;  we've heard about it, everyone talks about it and makes airbrushed T-shirts celebrating it, it seems super rad, but we haven't actually seen one.  I'm beginning to think it isn't a thing." - again from Jen Hatmaker in For the Love
A verse for today:
"The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you, he will never leaver you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid.  Do not be discouraged." - Deuteronomy 31:8
One of my favorite things:
This kid who is helping me keep the faith.

A few plans for the week:
serious closet clean out, basketball tryouts are happening this week at the high school, lunch with a friend who I've been missing something fierce, and perhaps a trip to Lake Anna.
A peek into my day: 
praying gratitude for our Veterans, especially this one who I didn't have the privilege to meet, but who raised that little boy up into the biggest blessing of my life.  (And can I just point out that little baby Steve's shirt pretty much screams, "LET'S GET THIS PARTY STARTED!")

Have a great day, friends!!

Waiting for Game Time Daybook: July 6, 2015

Outside my window:
It's cloudy and grey and storms are threatening which threatens our baseball game tonight which gives me heart palpitations because I NEED THIS TO BE OVER.
I am thinking:
about how the rest of my month hangs in the balance.  Why must baseball dictate my life or lack of a life, as the case may be?
I am thankful:
for a great weekend celebrating my country with family and food and fireworks and that beautiful flag flying over that beautiful lake.

In the kitchen:
is a big mess of leftovers that we brought home from our weekend at the lake.  I swear to goodness I have enough hot dog buns for the next twenty-five years of 4th of July barbecues.
I am wearing:
black shorts and black tshirt, running shoes.
I am listening to:
the sounds of a Starbucks in the morning.
I am going:
to completely freak out if this fly does not stop buzzing around my head.  I'd buy everyone in here a Venti Latte if someone would give me a fly swatter.
I am reading:
I finally finished The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarity which was really good and disturbing and interesting.  Last night I started The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
I am hoping:
for the forecast to change drastically so that my kid can play ball at 7:00 pm.
I am looking forward to:
my Texas people coming in three weeks.  I can barely stand it, I'm so excited.
I am learning:
that my Sister is a genius.  I needed her to be practical and to not put up with my whining over the weekend, so she gave me some solid, wise advice on the phone from all the way across the country.  In the moment, I said, "YES! That is exactly what I should do!  Yes, you are right.  Exactly right.  You are so smart."   Perhaps I should next learn to actually take her advice because when she asked me last night if I did what she told me to do, the answer was, "Um, no.  But I still thought it was really smart advice."  I'm a work in progress, it seems.
I am praying:
to be patient and gracious today.  It's a struggle this morning.
On my Ipod:
Raise 'Em Up.  I'm on a Keith Urban kick
I am wondering:
if there will ever in my life be a time when I will actually like cooking beautiful, healthy meals as much as I like the idea of cooking beautiful, healthy meals.  Really.  Can't they just show up on the table?
I am pondering:
"A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings" - Earl Wilson
A verse for today:
"Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me." - Psalm 51:10
One of my favorite things:
WORLD CHAMPION WOMEN AND THIS COMMERCIAL



A peek into my day: 

Perfection on the Porch Daybook: Monday, June 29, 2015

Outside my window:
THIS.

This state in which I have lived for 23 years and I have officially kissed and made up after a rocky period.  I scowled and stomped and pined for my Texas home all winter long.  Today, I am yours, Virginia.  You are perfection.
I am thinking:
about our 2nd All Star District tournament game tomorrow.  Yes, it's that time again.  I am thinking of schedules and practices, brackets and match-ups.  Of coin tosses to decide if we will be home or away, 3rd base side or 1st base side.  I am thinking of boys full of gatorade and sunscreen and bug spray and hope.  By all accounts, we are utterly and completely obsessed with Little League baseball here in SkinnerWorld.  I will have (or perhaps I already have had) at least one or two of my requisite "All-Star Season Meltdowns" during which I declare that THIS FAMILY IS INSANE AND DOES ANYONE KNOW I LIVE HERE AND WE HAVE GOT TO GET A GRIP, but then I will quietly fall in line because y'all, I sure do love watching that man coach and those boys play baseball.  Yes, I surely do.  Guilty as charged.
I am thankful:
for a Sunday night dinner with all five of us together.  It didn't look like a traditional dinner.  It wasn't at home, I didn't cook.  We had to meet up at a restaurant in three different cars after two of us returned from a baseball tournament in another state, two came from one golf course and one came from another golf course.  Still after a hectic weekend, we all met up together and ate and laughed (and argued a bit, to be sure.)  I love my people.  They get on my nerves.  Oh my word, do they.  But I love them desperately and completely.
In the kitchen:
there are four pair of baseball pants soaking in oxiclean, one cooler needing to be cleaned out and of course, the trendiest of all kitchen decor:  the athletic supporter in various colors next to the fruit bowl.
I am wearing:
white denim "boyfriend" shorts from Old Navy, a black Daniel Rain blouse and no shoes
I am listening to:
outside my screened in porch I can hear birds singing, children laughing and Judge Judy coming from the tv in the house.
I am going:
to make some Washington DC sight seeing plans for when my family comes this summer.  I, shamefully, do not take advantage of living so close to the nation's capital enough and there is so much to see and do.  Local friends, what are your favorites?  Leave a comment, please!
I am reading:
The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarity (STILL) Unfortunately, I am having trouble finding time to read because I have been sucked into way too much reading on the internet. - mainly scrolling comments on Facebook.  Many of them filled with hate and name-calling and ugliness.  I am committed this week to spending zero time witnessing how gleefully anxious people are to rip each other apart from behind their computer screens.  My heart grieves for how we treat each other.  I consistently tell my kids to step away from the screen.  "Hello, Kettle, this is Pot.  Click the X in the top right corner.  Move away from the desk.  Live your life.  You've only one."
I am hoping:
for some days by the pool with a book or three this week.
I am looking forward to:
the 4th of July on a still, glassy lake.
I am learning:
that the sound of brothers' arguing might be my least favorite thing in all the world and that in all my lessons in parenting over the years, I have yet to figure out how to stop it. *sigh* 
I am praying:
for just every, last one of us.  All y'all.  All of me.  Yep, just the whole kit and caboodle, I reckon.
On my Ipod:
John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 by Keith Urban.  I do believe I have found my summer jam, y'all.
A quote for today:

"According to the Christian tradition, grace is not earned. Grace is not merited. It's not something we deserve. Rather, grace is the free and benevolent favor of God as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. Grace.  As a nation, out of this terrible tragedy, God has visited grace upon us, for he has allowed us to see where we've been blind.  He has given us the chance, where we've been lost, to find our best selves.  We may not have earned it, this grace, with our rancor and complacency, and short-sightedness and fear of each other -- but we got it all the same. He gave it to us anyway. He's once more given us grace. But it is up to us now to make the most of it, to receive it with gratitude, and to prove ourselves worthy of this gift. . . .That reservoir of goodness. If we can find that grace, anything is possible.  If we can tap that grace, everything can change." - President Obama during the funeral of Reverend Pinckney.  Perhaps the most beautiful, important words that I have ever heard him utter.  Well done, Mr. President.

A verse for today:
"For from His fullness we have all received, grace upon grace." - John 1:16 ESV
One of my favorite things:
The sweet, funny and intelligent movie, Inside Out, that I saw last week with Nancy and our boys. I might need to see it again a few times because I think it has so much to say.  Especially for my friends who are grieving, I think the idea that sadness and joy can work hand in hand was quite powerful.  One of the few good things I read on the internet last week was this article, "The Inside Out of Grief" , It is a beautiful response to a beautiful movie.
I am pondering:
This quote from Traci Loux, the author of the article mentioned above:
" Anger is not bad. Feel it. Acknowledge it. It’s ok. It’s not a place to stay, but at times a visitor that creeps in to the journey. But as I am learning and as I am teaching my children, never let the Anger push Sadness to the background for too long. Sadness must be felt because Love is great, and together we are learning the unique dance that Joy and Sadness share. Joy comes in waves. Sadness comes in waves. And at times one hits with more intensity that the other, and at other times they wash up against us with the same steady rhythm hand in hand."
A few plans for the week:
A lot of this.

Daybook idea from www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com

An Opening Day-book: April 6, 2014

Outside my window:
It is absolutely the most stunningly beautiful, bright, clear, non-windy, sunny day I can remember in a very, very long time. Deep breath.  He really does make all things new again.  Even me.
I am thinking:
about spring menus, spring sports, spring clothes, spring cleaning and spring hope. Spring Break was a great time and I feel like it was truly the end of a season for me.  I think I needed the new season to spread out before me with hope and promise and light  We spent some time at home and at Lake Anna.  Some time with friends and some time with family. I did some reading, some running, some March Madness watching and some shopping. While the boys fished and shot BB guns, I did some sleeping and Bible studying.  I did no writing.  The words eluded me.  I'm ready for new things.  I'm ready to leave the Winter Me in the past.  I think I like the Spring Me better.  My family does, too.
I am thankful:
for sitting squished in between my guys at the Easter service at my church which was bursting full with more in attendance than I can ever remember seeing.  For little girls in new dresses, for little boys in bow ties, for voices singing louder than usual and the communion line taking longer.  For the realization that I think this year for the first time all three of my children "get it".  I always cry on Easter and they are always happy tears.  The way my Jesus took all of that pain, all of that suffering, all of that ridicule?  For me?  For me?  Y'all, it's just too much.  Easter Sunday.  I CAN'T EVEN.
In the kitchen:
the fridge and the pantry are bursting full of snacks that made their way back from our few days at Lake Anna and leftovers from an incredible Easter dinner at my brother and sister-in-law's house. It is time to do some clean out.
I am wearing:
jeans, bright yellow, sleeveless(!) top and bare feet
I am listening to:
The Opening Day game at Nationals Park.  GO NATS.
I am going:
to get back to running on a regular schedule this week.  There is rain in the forecast for the next three days, so I'll have to hit the Dreadmill, as my friend, Elizabeth calls it.  Still, I must.  I am a mess when I don't take time to run.  A big, giant mess.
I am reading:
I started Paula Hawkin's The Girl on the Train which I was reading on Joe's Kindle.  Then I forgot the Kindle when we went to Lake Anna for a few days so I found Mercy by Jodi Picoult on the shelves there and started that one.
I am hoping:
to keep my promise to eat cleaner this week.  No sugar. Blech.  The hope of Easter makes me feel awesome.  The food of Easter?  Not so much.
I am looking forward to:
Baseball Season!  Now, Baseball. It's time now!
I am learning:
that as much as I lament technology and the way it has changed us, I can't help but be grateful that my man can join us for Spring Break at Lake Anna - for all kinds of moments that I don't think our fathers were able to -- just a quick call by the water and he's back in.

I am praying:
for way too many children with cancer.  Just too many.
On my Ipod:
The new Third Day album!!  I love every song - especially THIS ONE.
I am wondering:
why they even sell olives with pits and if there is a classy, appropriate way to eat them.  This was the subject of discussion around the Easter appetizers.  Miss Manners?  Emily Post?  Anybody?
I am pondering:
reading THIS BOOK. I think Husband would argue that I am not one who likes listening more than talking - a definition this book gives for introverts.  But I do think I gain energy from time alone. I crave time alone after I've been with crowds or in groups. I'd rather work alone in most, but not all cases.  Both of those are qualities of introverts according to the book. I am curious as to how this book would speak to me.  How it might help me understand me better.  It would be nice to understand me better.  I mean, I do have to hang out with myself quite a lot. :)
A quote for today:
"It is finished.  All the necessary work, all forgiveness, all the reconciliation, all sacrifice.  Nothing left to do but sing hallelujah."- Jen Hatmaker
A verse for today:
"He is not here.  He has risen, just as He said." - Matthew 28:6
One of my favorite things:
Two guys and a fish

A few plans for the week:
We've got four baseball games on the calendar, a whole mess of practices, planning for Kyle's Kamp Diamond Dreams baseball games and one of my favorite days of all:  Opening Day for Little League!
A peek into my day: 
Hoping for a Harper Home Run or two.

A Sunday Daybook Posted on a Monday: November 3, 2014

Outside my window:
is a Starbucks parking lot in Fredericksburg, Virginia where it is early, grey, close to rain and with wind that is heading towards Wizard of Oz proportions..  I believe the folks at the Weather Channel call this not appropriate for baseball weather.
I am thinking:
that the San Francisco Giants and the Kansas City Royals are probably sipping margaritas on a beach some where because NOVEMBER.  I would very much like to stay in this random, warm Starbucks I found a few miles from the baseball field on which my 13 year old is "warming up" for his game that starts in an hour.  And by warming up I mean freezing his skinny little bum off.
I am thankful:
that my child is healthy and strong enough to play baseball today, no matter the weather.  For silver linings, perspective, for a God that forgives me for being a spineless clod of grievances - all that.  And also for a Skinny Vanilla Soy Latte in a warm Starbucks.
In the kitchen:
It is full of Halloween candy and discarded costumes.
I am wearing:
black running pants, Nike running shoes, Army 10 Miler long sleeve tee shirt, Stars Baseball Sweatshirt.
I am listening to:
morning coffee orders and typical coffee shop music - mournful, deep, terribly introspective, I'm sure.
I am reading:
Moloka'i by Adam Brennert.  REALLY good.
I am hoping:
to take my first run in three weeks tomorrow due to the fact that my hamstring hates me and I've been resting it for exactly 20 days and 23 hours.  I know this because I'm becoming more and more mentally unstable.  I NEED the running and I'm starting to freak out.
I am looking forward to:
a lunch meeting with a new friend who wants to help out at Kyle's Kamp.  She is yet another person who I would not have met if not due to horrible tragedy, but who I will count as one of the instances when God has proven to me that He can make beauty out of ashes.  She and I surely wish that we could've first met another way, but we can't.  So I will thank Him for this friend willing to work toward something daunting and difficult.  Also, I'll thank Him because she is fun and I'm quite the fan of laughing until my Diet Coke comes out of my nose..
I am learning:
that Peanut M&Ms are the boss of me. 
I am praying:
for Mathias and family - everyday.  Also, that I will be able to start running again so that my family doesn't end up living with a crazy woman who sits on the couch covered in candy wrappers all day.
On my Ipod:
Come as You Are by Crowder(not Nirvana).  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this song so much.  LOVE.
I am wondering:
how much baseball dirt will be in my teeth, ears and lip gloss by the end of this windy day.
I am pondering:
cutting my hair.  Like 3 inches off.  This could be a reaction to the fact that the wind has blown my hair into my mouth all morning and this is terribly annoying.  It also keeps getting caught in zippers and doorways and I think I'm starting to look like Marcia Brady.
A quote for today:
"We should all have one person who knows how to bless us despite the evidence, Grandmother was that person to me." ~Phyllis Theroux
(I cannot think of a more perfect way to describe how my mommy loves.  Unconditionally, despite all evidence, she just keeps loving us.  And she was the only adult who stayed up to the victorious end with Kyle and Joe to watch the 'Horns beat Iowa State.  BIG LOVE. no?)

A verse for today:
"I lift up my eyes to the hills. From where does my help come? ² My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. ³ He will not let your foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber.

⁴ Behold, he who keeps Israel, will neither slumber nor sleep.⁵ The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand." Psalm 121-1-5

One of my favorite things:

The Little Man doing his best "Mad Bryce Harper" face on Halloween.

A few plans for the week:
We have two days off from school because of teacher workdays so I'm hoping to see Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day because in my imagination Jennifer Garner and I are best friends, the beginnings of work on the 2nd season of Kyle's Kamp Diamond Dreams Games, a little man turns 10 years old and there is ONE more baseball tournament.  (Thank you, sweet, loving Jesus)
A peek into my day: 
I hope I don't find this child blown up against the fence today like Dorothy and Toto.  Hold your ground, #2!

Daybook idea from www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com

Tuesday Afternoon Daybook: September 23, 2014

Outside my window:
it's bright and sunny and cool.
I am thinking:
about Gwen Stefani on The Voice last night and about her red lipstick.
I am thankful:
for the blessing of a friend who will participate in my version of "Monday Morning Quarterbacking"  A friend who will cover some very serious topics from acceptance to forgiveness to perspectives on God's intent and purpose for our lives, to the struggle for peace in the midst of the confusion of not knowing what the future holds.  A friend who can keep all these "conversations" going while I am in between a manicure, a trip to the car wash and waiting on my kids to get out of the dentist's chair.  I am thankful for God putting friends in my life who are brave and challenging and thoughtful and smart.  For friends who are working hard to believe He wants the very best for us and for hashing it all out with me.  So very thankful.
In the kitchen:
my grandmother's recipe for chicken spaghetti on the stove.
I am wearing:
green Nike Running shorts, black Nike running tank, long sleeve black Nike running jacket.
I am listening to:
the washing machine and The Oh Hello's on my Ipod
I am reading:
While the kids were seeing the dentist yesterday I finished Half Broke Horses by Jeannette Walls.  Not as riveting as her The Glass Castle, but still pretty good.  Last night I started Rare Bird by Anna Whitson-Donaldson, a memoir by a local mom who lost her son in a tragic accident three years ago.  I wrote about her story here.
I am praying:
for all the kiddos and families I met at the Curefest for Childhood Cancer events in DC this weekend. Too many beautiful kids, too many fearful families, too little money for research.  I am also giving prayers of thanks for these dedicated friends, Randi and Jenni, and for our generous, incredibly humble leader, Rob Hahne and his family which includes a very strong, very brave, very big hearted kid named Kyle.

I am hoping:
that the impact of many little, but fierce voices will be heard by the most powerful people in Washington DC.  Many of these voices belong to children fighting cancer who are being given the same medicines that were given to children in the 1950s.  It's criminal, really.  I missed this part of the weekend, but am so thankful that cancer fighter, Alex's mom, Jenni,  captured this moment when children and families lit the sky gold in front of the White House in an effort to raise awareness for the woefully inept amount of federal funding received for research for children's cancers.


A verse for today:
"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone?  And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."  Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

On my Ipod:

I Have Made Mistakes by The Oh Hello's

I am learning:
to recognize that even though my boys are not hanging on my arm and and sitting on my lap anymore,  they need me to be as present now as I was back when they were toddlers.  I have lots of things I want to do now that a new season in life has opened up for me, but I am learning how much they need me and even more how much I need them.  There are days and nights that I want to lock myself in a Starbucks and write until my fingers bleed, so great is my want for writing.  But, I need to be their mom and remember that this profession is not completed.  I am also learning that my writing is easier and always better when it is informed by my role as a mother.  I should and will do many new things for me and for my heart and for my future, but my guys are only here a short time.  I need to be their mother first.  Always.

I am wondering:
just how long Blue Ridge, the fish, will hang on.  Yes, he is still with us, lounging on his rocks, coming up to eat twice a day and floating back to the rocks.  I'm pretty sure he's blind, so when he goes up to get his food it's really hit or miss.  Like shooting fish in a barrel so to speak.
I am pondering:
why the Dr. Perricone's Sciency turkey neck facial product I bought has to smell so bad.  I suppose that kale doesn't smell like chocolate chip cookies because it is in the business of doing serious work for my body.  Perhaps this is what the Dr. Perricone philosophy is also.  The Cold Plasma D came with a science lab type dropper and it kinda smells like dead fish.  Not that I would know what dead fish smell like based on our previously mentioned betta fish that might outlive every last one of us.
One of my favorite things:
A couple of little survivors with big time courage: Kyle and Sabrina, at CureFest.

A few plans for the week:
Joe puts the golf clubs away for awhile and picks up the bat and glove, the other two kids' teams are playing in the same local baseball tournament this weekend and I am getting all set for the Gavin Rupp Open on Monday.
A peek into my day:
Working on assignments for the wonderful, generous, enthusiastic volunteers I have for the 2nd Annual Gavin Rupp Open.  Only one more week!

Daybook idea from http://www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/

Dark Early Morning Daybook: Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Outside my window:
It's very dark, very early and cool.  Summer is slowly fading away.
I am thinking:
about Joe and his high school golf teammates who are leaving early this morning for their conference golf championships.  Hoping for low scores for all of them.  They've worked really hard.
I am thankful:
for a "so far, so good" start to the school year.  My boys are happy and working hard.  I am so thankful for easy mornings and smiling kids coming through the door at the end of the day.
In the kitchen:
I had a coupon and I bought this.  I'm not sure what I will chop, but it sure will be cute on my counter,

I am wearing:
blue plaid pj bottoms and a blue long sleeve thermal top.  I'm cold.
I am listening to:
Joe left ESPN on and they're talking about the Nationals winning the division last night.  Much celebration and champagne spraying and Bryce Harper wearing a fireman's hat(?)
I am hoping:
that the lovely and talented Mrs. C. and I don't get into trouble during our annual date to Back to School night together which I wrote about HERE.  There is generally much giggling and passing of notes and getting dirty looks from people.  Actually, maybe I do hope we get in trouble.  I never got in trouble when I was actually in middle school.  Maybe it's time to rebel.
I am going:
to work on taping this photo of my middle school boyfriend on my Trapper Keeper before Mrs. C. picks me up.

I am reading:
Half Broke Horses by Jeanette Walls.
I am looking forward to:
Curefest activities this weekend in Washington DC for Childhood Cancer Awareness month.  Kyle's Kamp and many, many other organizations will be on the National Mall this Sunday promoting awareness and honoring some of the bravest little people in all the world.
I am learning:
that when it comes to making a child with cancer smile, I'll do just about anything.  Including wearing a gold tutu.

I am praying:
lots of prayers big and small today: for a boy who has an Algebra test, for another boy on a golf course, for my biggest boy to come home safely on an airplane, and for one of the bravest boys I know to keep fightin' that fight and smilin' that smile. For so many boys in my life - I will not stop praying for you.
On my Ipod:
We Were Us by Keith Urban and Miranda Lambert.
I am wondering:
about when -oh when - will I really find sustained periods of time to write during this crazy busy fall season.  My friend, Elizabeth, refers to "writing in the margins".  I'm trying to find the margins.  I need to find the margins.  My head feels like it might explode with words some days.
A quote for today:
"And we will never stop being the boldface brave who show up when it’d be easier to give up,
who go do hard & holy things when it’d be easier to just go do happy things,
who do not quit when we don’t know how to keep going on." - Ann Voskamp in THIS POST from September 11th.  This woman is so very gifted.  This post is so very worth your time.  Go.
A verse for today:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged; for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go" - Joshua 1:9
One of my favorite things:
a new package of pens in all the colors and a brand new Bible study book.
A few plans for the week:
Curefest activities, planning for the 2nd Annual Gavin Rupp Open, and hopefully some time to sit on the porch and read.
A peek into my day: 

Daybook idea from http://www.thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/