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Monday, November 17, 2014

Procrastination, Deodorant Shopping & Foggy Baseball Photos

Y'all.

I don't know if you're aware, but it's the middle of November.  I would like to know how November happened,  Or how 2014 happened, for that matter.  Even more startling is the fact that I swear I was just reading my Rob Lowe memoir at the pool and now the weather guy says it will be 19 degrees tomorrow.  When did I jump in a time machine and not even notice?

Last week was a blur of activity.  Activity that doesn't really lend itself to exciting and meaningful blog posts.  So this afternoon, I turned off my phone and sat myself down to write because I have an actual assignment and an actual deadline.  When assignments and deadlines happen to me, I find the need to write gibberish before I get to what I am actually supposed to be writing.  So you, dear reader, must proceed with low expectations while I sift through a couple of the moments that happened last week so that I can get down to the business of actually writing something that might matter.

Here's what happened around Monday of last week.  It came to my nose's attention that the littlest boy in my life needs some deodorant.  You know when you move past that wet dog-grassy-mud smell to something wholly different?  Let's just say, when you know, you know.

I was sitting in the kitchen looking over the 4th grade homework with him and I suddenly had a flashback to being a cheerleader at Rockwall High and having to hold my breath while we decorated the locker room of the 1986 Fighting Yellowjacket Football team.

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts, Can't Breathe.

Now the remedy in 1986 was to spray a copious amount of Drakkar Noir from the Eckerd Drugstore all over one's Members Only jacket.  Today we have the 2014 version of Drakkar Noir.  This would be a vast array of body wash, deodorant and body spray products from the too-cool-for-school guys at Axe whose goal in life is to befuddle moms who are trying to buy deodorant for their pre-teens.

(Yes, I know I could just buy Mennan SpeedStick, but he asked for Axe, so this first time, I just want to be sure he wears it everyday.  One needs to be able to breathe when helping with long division.)

These are the choices I had to pick from Axe:

1.  Dark Temptation.  Um . . . No.  Maybe this would be the choice if I was Antonio Banderas's mom.

2.  Kilo.  Well, well, well . . .  No, sir.  I was not born yesterday.  This is clearly some sort of cocaine reference.

3.  Anarchy  Yea, right.  This is not exactly the message I want to send a boy entering adolescence who will live in my home for at least eight more years.

My last two options were Apollo and Phoenix.  I stayed in the aisle for quite some time racking my brain to find the subliminal message behind these two names because Dear Axe Marketing Guys:  I WILL NOT BE PLAYED.

I could not come up with anything offensive, so I eeney-meeny-miney-mo'ed it and bought Phoenix.

If ever I have the chance to meet the young whipper-snappers at Axe who think they are so clever with their inappropriate product names, I will hobble over to them in my sensible shoes and smack them over their perfectly gelled-up heads with my pocketbook.

In other topics, in case anyone was wondering about my breakup with baseball and how things are going, I have to say that  baseball fought hard for us.  Although I did not personally follow baseball season down to North Carolina last weekend, my husband did when Kyle's team played in their final tournament of the season.  The boys ended up finishing their last game at around 11:00 pm in the foggy cold on a Sunday night.  Yes, the next day was a school day.  No, I am not a great parent.

Hello, Unexcused Absence, my name is Kyle and our family is powerless over baseball season.

Here is a photo of the last game in the fog.  I have to hand it to baseball season.  It did not go down without a fight and while I was very happy to be home in my warm bed, I thought this was a very cool photo.



So, other than deodorant shopping, washing the last baseball uniforms and smelly socks for the season and doing some mailing and online work for Kyle's Kamp, there is not much else about last week to write about.  To those who just read to the end here, thanks for indulging me.  I thought it was a week of stuff that doesn't translate into spectacular moments.  But I just spent an hour thinking and writing about that silly stuff and now I'm smiling and relaxed and appreciating the ordinary moments of last week.

Aa I end up here I realize that this is what God does. My assignment is to write a post for November for Kyle's Kamp's website -  to write about the glorious people who give their time, their talents, their money and their hearts to the cause of children fighting cancer.  Sometimes when I sit down to write something of such importance, I get stuck.  I feel ordinary and small and inadequate.  So I just start writing about the ordinary stuff in my days, like I did today.  And He takes the mundane and allows me to marvel in it.

So, now that that is done, I'll pray that somehow I'll be able to sort out all the messy thoughts in my head and put them into a piece that is worthy of the people who do so much for children through contributing to Kyle's Kamp.  I know He'll take my mess and make it mean something.  I'll come back here tomorrow and start over.  

Until, then, I gotta go.  The doorbell just rang.  It appears that "The Phoenix" is home.


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