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Friday, February 28, 2014

Redefining The Victory

I've found that working with Kyle's Kamp over the past ten or so months produces lots of feelings and lots of thoughts in a gal who was already a little too feely-thinky.  Sometimes these feelings are compartmentalized into one hour on a particular day or one day in a particular week and sometimes they all crash into me in giant, unrelenting waves over the course of many hours and many days.

This last week of February was one of those when the waves just kept on crashing.  I've been feeling lots of feelings and thinking lots of thoughts since Saturday.  I've been feeling anger and fear, sadness and grief, confusion and frustration.  And I've been thinking about things like battle and struggle, heroism and bravery, perseverance and hope.  I've been wondering if I'll ever see the triumph in this fight that I've joined.  In the end, I've arrived at today, determining that I must find a way to redefine words like courage, champion and ultimately, victory.

Saturday and Sunday the waves came in and pulled all of us who volunteer in this community under for a bit.  I didn't realize it at the time, but the stomach flu jumped in on me as well and helped to pull me even farther under which didn't help my mindset. Then just as I was steadying my feet from the weekend, Tuesday came and knocked me down again.


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