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Monday, May 2, 2016

Monday Daybook: "Where am I?" Edition

Outside my window:
A lot more trees than I'm used to looking at, a lot more grass than I'm used to looking at and nary a sight of my best friend's back porch.
I am thinking:
A lot about how resistant to even the smallest of changes I am. And how really fear-based that kind of thinking is. I have noticed in the last few days how desperately I want to feel "at home" here and how impatient I am with getting used to my surroundings. I just about lost it yesterday when I couldn't find the appropriate place for the loaf pans. As if I ever use loaf pans. It's kind of ridiculous. It occurs to me that I am being way overly dramatic about moving 3 miles away. My sister moved from Dallas to San Jose, California and I have a friend moving from here to Colorado this summer. (I mean, settle down, Girlfriend, right?) I will go to the same church, to the same school assemblies, the same baseball parks and to the same restaurants. I will not lose my friends and my family will not fall apart because we've made one change to our lives. Sister and I were talking the other day about how I have a "When will the other shoe drop?" mentality. My life has been extraordinarily blessed. It's as if I feel that if I make one step outside of what I've been doing for twenty-ish years that the whole thing will fall apart. (Again, take it down a notch, freakshow.)
I am thankful:
for my four guys. They are steady and sure and familiar. Even when they are arguing or leaving their stuff everywhere or yelling from the other side of the house wondering where the toilet paper is. I'm also thankful for a God who is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and settles my wandering mind.
In the kitchen:
I don't know where anything is.
I am wearing:
black running pants, grey tshirt, Nikes, new progressive contact lenses that are a true blue MIRACLE.
I am listening to:
the clothes spin in the washer. Now that is a familiar sound.
I am going:
to buy a tube of toothpaste for each boy today. They don't share a bathroom any more. Something I didn't think about: new toothpaste budget.
I am reading:
the book of Jude this week for my Bible study class.
I am hoping:
for sunshine. It's been an incredibly gloomy, grey weekend and the forecast doesn't look good.
I am looking forward to:
wearing my new Tom's Cork Wedges that are crazy comfortable and cute. And now on sale (!) COME ON, SPRING. My feet are ready. Bring it.
I am praying:
for endurance and faith for friends who are desperately trying to believe that His plan is good and perfect even when it makes no sense to us right now.
On my Ipod:

I am pondering:

Prayer. And how to encourage friends who are walking in faith, praying fervently and begging mercy to believe that He hears and is here even when it seems He is silent and absent. It's hard. It's so hard.
A quote for today:
“There are no 'if's' in God's world. And no places that are safer than other places. The center of His will is our only safety - let us pray that we may always know it!” 
― Corrie ten Boom
A verse for today:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid. Do not be discouraged. The Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9
One of my favorite things:
spending time with this boy on college visits, marveling at how bright is his future and being stunned at how fearless and excited he is for the next chapter in life. How unlike his mama he is in this way. I'm so grateful.

A few plans for the week:
Lots of watching these boys on the diamond.

A peek into my day: 

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