I'm on my screened in porch so there are birds singing, flowers blooming and sun shining. It is perfectly perfect outside.
I am thinking:
about being away from writing in this space and how for many days I've been thinking about how many, many other "productive things" there are for me to do besides taking time here. I'm thinking that this kind of thinking happens a lot to me lately and I always wonder/worry that when I return here I'll have run out of anything interesting or meaningful or funny or useful to say and how that makes me sad. Then I think about whether or not I ever wrote anything interesting or meaningful or funny or useful and that makes me sadder. And now I'm thinking that when I'm sad and worried, I always need to find a way to this space so that I become emptied of the sadness and the worry. I am thinking that God always, always meets me here and that even if I never write another word that is interesting or useful or meaningful, I will have met God where He waits for me. I am thinking that this might make not one lick of sense to anyone else in the world. I am thinking that maybe it doesn't matter because I'm already feeling less sad. I am thinking that everyone, every single one, should find the place where God waits for them and that no matter how long they've stayed away, they should always return because He will be waiting.
I am thankful:
for the diagnosis of severe gas pains. (I know you want to click away right now. So would I.) This week, I had a little boy doubled over in pain while tears streamed bright white streaks through the red baseball dirt on his face. I took him to the ER knowing that I could be overreacting in the most embarrassing of ways, but worrying that maybe I wasn't because I've met way too many people that might have seemed to be overreacting when they took their kids to the hospital, only to find out that they were SO NOT overreacting. I am thankful that no one at the ER acted like I was an overprotective lunatic and I am so, so thankful for perfectly fine urine tests and blood tests and vital signs. Yes, siree, I am thankful for gas pains.
In the kitchen:
There are lots of empty fruit bowls waiting for me to go to the Farmer's Market. Yay, summer!
I am wearing:
Jcrew madras plaid shorts, white tshirt with part of my lunch on it, white flip flops
I am listening to:
two birds squawking at each other and the wind in the trees.
I am going:
to start training for the Army Ten Miler as a member of Team Mathias. I've run it three times before but it's been awhile. I can't think of a better way to get to the finish line than to think about that kid and that smile.
I am reading:
The One and Only by Emily Giffin. It's a fun, easy read about a writer who is head over heels in love with her Texas college football team and just might be infatuated with the Coach Tayloresque coach of said team who happens to be her best friend's dad. The Texas football stuff is totally up my alley and not too deep which is good for my summer (lack of a) brain.
I am hoping:
for a huge win for our high school's Freedom Varsity baseball team tonight as they attempt to keep the post-season going.
I am looking forward to:
potentially squeezing in a visit to Lake Anna this weekend in between baseball games at a nearby tournament.
I am learning:
that when you say that your children "really actually don't fight that much and get along really well" for years and years and you wonder what in the world is wrong in other families where siblings drive their moms nuts with all of the arguing and nitpicking and generally BEING SO DARN RIDICULOUSLY MEAN TO EACH OTHER, it will come back and bite you some day. It will bite you and it will hurt.
I am praying:
this verse for my people
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." - Galatians 5:22-23
On my Ipod:
The Fighter for Mathias. I ran five miles this morning and was ready to quit after four until this song came on and I realized that if I was going to run ten miles on his team in October, I better learn to be a least a fraction of the fighter that kid is. I did it. Thanks, bud.
I am pondering:
THIS ARTICLE. Could it be possible that dinner together could be the default mode? Could the impossible be possible? I so want it to be.
A quote for today:
"Parenting is hard, zero kids/parents are perfect, not every moment is a pleasure ever – in any stage, for any parent, for any kid, in any context in the history of life. Every person who disagrees with the previous sentence is a liar." - Jen Hatmaker (Amen, sister)
One of my favorite things:
Sugar cookies from Harris Teeter. It's a problem.
A few plans for the week:
Golf has made it's way on to the calendar, more baseball, my hubby's birthday.
A peek into my day:
Taking this guy to the pool. Welcome back, summer.
Daybook idea from http://thesimplewomansdaybook.blogspot.com/